Wednesday, March 18, 2015

List: Important discussions to have before moving in together.

A couple of weeks back, my best friend and her man decided to move in together.
Yes, you did just hear an EEP and the sound of a seal clap.  What?  I’m happy for them!
They are a great couple that seem to have each other’s best interests at heart.
I know that this is just one more step in their lengthy, happy relationship together.

My man and I have been living together for three long years now.
While there are certainly some perks to making this step, some things just stink about it.
Sometimes I wish I listened to Madre’s warnings and was proactive in avoiding arguments.
Well, it doesn’t matter now because the arguments happened and we learned from them.  Right?!

Ten Things To Discuss Before Living With Your Partner.

1.  Personal Space
Make sure that you have a clear definition of each other’s personal space.
If you claim that area of the closet, it is not acceptable for it to be taken over by someone else.
If an argument ensues and he/she closes the bedroom door, leave the door closed until they’re ready.
There is nothing worse than feeling trapped and like you can’t escape to clear your mind.

2.  Morning Routines
Prior to waking up for work, discuss the best morning routine that’s convenient for both.
Take into account what time each of you needs to be at work and your morning “musts”.
If you have similar schedules, be considerate of the other person and don’t hog the bathroom.
As a lady, I take a significant amount of time to do my hair.  That means I get the shower first!

3.  Finances
There are a lot of finances necessary for funding a living space.
Make sure it’s clear who is paying for what and how much they should contribute.
Don’t forget to take into account things like food, cable, or even household necessities.
In my situation, it was best to just combine all incomes and expenses.  Make a budget and plan ahead!

4.  Eating Habits
People have different expectations when it comes to eating.
When you live with someone, they may expect to eat dinner with you regularly.
Discuss eating plans that make both of you happy.  Maybe cook five nights a week and take out twice.
This was rough for us because I love vegetables and my man is a downright carnivore. Compromise, people!

5.  Combining Your Things
When two people are moving into one space, there is bound to be lots and lots of doubles.
Decide which pieces of furniture you plan to keep and whose set of towels will make the cut!
Some people find it easier just to start out fresh and slowly make new purchases that fit both tastes.
Just, please, don’t throw away your things.  Donate the lightly used items and sell the valuables.

6.  Living Location
Before even considering living together, make sure you’re both on the same page for a location.
Perhaps one person needs to stay in their living space because it’s closer to work or family.
Discuss the best options.  Maybe you both need to pack and move to a whole new space!
I was sort of stubborn with this one, but luckily my man was lenient.

7.  Annoying Habits
We all have habits that we love but others find absolutely obnoxious.
Maybe you like to utilize the bedroom floor as your laundry hamper or sleep with the light on.
Instead of dealing with it until you explode, talk it out with your partner until it’s resolved.
My friends text me at all hours of the night and drive my man NUTS.  Resolution:  Silence the phone.

8.  Chores
As you continue to reside in the same home, you will develop a routine.  I promise!
Despite that, you must make a chore plan prior to moving in together in order to avoid a fight.
Decide who will do the dishes, take out the garbage, clean the bathroom, or make the bed.
Turns out my man cleans great and quick!  That means I fold laundry, cook dinner, and pay the bills.

9.  Be Guest Conscious
Do not invite guests over before checking with your partner.
Perhaps they already made plans or maybe they just aren’t in the mood to entertain.
Either way, it’s important to be considerate when making plans or inviting guests.
I love to entertain, but I rely on my man to help.  I learned real quick to ask and then invite!

10.  Communicate
Please, for the love of God, do NOT forget to communicate.  Things that you think don’t matter, do.
If you’re staying late at work, shoot a text.  If you’re sick and don’t want to be bothered, say so.
If you plan on making a huge purchase that will affect the budget, give your partner a heads up.
This was real rough for us because we were so independent.  We’re working on it though!

What do you think is important to discuss before moving in together?

28 comments:

  1. You are wise beyond your years! Excellent list. I think communication is the key to any healthy relationship, and certainly the cornerstone of a long lasting marriage.

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    Replies
    1. Communication really is so important. Yet, it's so hard to actually do. haha

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  2. Love your blog! Great to read

    XX

    http://www.floortjeloves.com
    http://www.facebook.com/floortjeloves

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  3. absolutely true!! everyone considering moving in should see this list! ps: my web designer said to clear your cache and history and my comment box should show up. i hope that helps :))

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  4. Yes to the guest one. Nothing worse than coming home and finding 50 people in your place. Why I will NEVER again have roommates, ugg. Communication is key in all things

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    Replies
    1. hahahahaha Sounds like someone has some bitterness in their tone!

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  5. If there are things you just can't stand, be vocal before it happens. My boyfriend likes music with heavy bass, which isn't the issue, but he likes playing the bass so loud the ground shakes. I loathe that with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns. He always turns it down when I'm around. In return, I only listen to music we both enjoy when he's around and listen to whatever I want with my headphones.

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  6. This is a great list of items and I totally agree you need to discuss all of these items before moving in with someone.

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  7. me has never lived with anyone... hug me please....

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  8. We have a medicine cabinet where it is in two sections. One section is only a tenth of the size as the other. They made it with women who live with men in mind.

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    Replies
    1. LOL!! Well, at least it's practical.

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  9. I remember watching this documentary with former boxing champ Larry Holmes in it, and he would call his wife and let her know he was bringing home guests.. then after he hung up, he explained doing these types of things for each other was why they had had such a long successful marriage. That was the final scene of the movie...an earlier scene in the movie showed Larry doing the exact same thing for his wife maybe 20 or 30 years earlier when he was a young man. So, if people can follow Jax advice for that long they too will have successful relationships and a happy life as well!

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    Replies
    1. Aww, I love that!! Now I kind of want to see that movie. :)

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  10. This advice will DEFINITELY come in handy one day.

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  11. it's pretty funny I was more nervous about moving in with my now husband than I was marrying him...I think recognizing personal space and also just realizing how the person is when they come home from work is really important...like do they want to talk or just relax for a bit before getting into their day! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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    Replies
    1. Right? I tell people all the time that it was harder to adjust living with a man than it was to adjust to having an infant/child. Weird, but true!

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  12. Great list (as usual) and I loved this: "...did just hear an EEP and the sound of a seal clap..." ha.

    I really agree with all of this, all of it! I am so thankful that my husband and I have never had to share the bathroom in the morning because I hear so many horror stories from people about it! I leave at 7:10 AM which is about when he gets up to be at work around 8, so we always just miss each other and it makes it so nice.

    The chores are the biggest for me.He will do anything I ask of him but he will NOT proactively choose to do a chore, and it really bugs me. Like unless I tell him, it just won't get done which is an ongoing battle.

    Lol, I could go on and on so I'll stop about this but I really like the list. You make excellent points!

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    Replies
    1. hahahaha My man is the same way. He does most of the hardcore scrub downs, but I have to lay little hints. Like, the kitchen reallllyyy needs a scrubbing..if only I had the time.

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