My future husband is what the Cuban community call machismo.
He fits that description in almost every sense of the word.
Picture a growling Ricky Ricardo and you pretty much already met my man! I kid, I kid…
Like every rule in the universe, there is always an exception.
I quickly learned his exception when my man got a call and his ringtone was “Roar” by Katy Perry.
That is not
For his benefit, I think it’s time to bring back the lovely Gerard Butler.
Remember this post when he originally tried to teach us the ways of manly men?
I mean, you don’t get much manlier than the roaring Gerard Butler!
Things Manly Men Should Not Do or Say
Show us the way, Gerard!
1. Manly Men Don’t Moisturize.
You walk into your bedroom to find Mr. Butler rubbing cream in between his toes.
Seriously, Gerard? Just get out…
2. Manly Men Don’t Dab, They Wipe.
Gerard is eating dinner and he gets sauce on the side of his mouth so he gently dabs it off with a napkin.
Sorry, honey, but if you’re going to dab you are not allowed to use a napkin anymore.
3. Manly Men Don’t Say “Yay”.
Our manly idol is sitting on a boat fishing, when he gets a bite. He jumps up and exclaims “YAY”.
Just for your little outburst, Gerard, I hope that fish swims away to safety!
4. Manly Men Don’t Say “Pathmark’s Perks Card”.
You’re buying dessert with Gerard, when he whips out a card and says “Use my Pathmark’s Perks Card”.
This may be one of the few times Mr. Butler will hear “Put it away”…
5. Manly Men Don’t Use A Feather Duster
You sneak over to Gerard’s house to find him with a feather duster cleaning his trinkets.
I’m all for a man who cleans, but the feather duster has got to go…and so does the trinkets!
6. Manly Men Don’t Watch Lifetime Movies
Mr. Butler is sitting on your couch with a box of tissues and a face full of tears while watching Lifetime.
First off, you best be wiping those tears. Second, I couldn’t pay a manly man to watch Lifetime with me…
7. Manly Men Don’t Sip, They Gulp.
You’re sitting next to Gerard at a bar and see him casually sipping his Jack and Coke.
If you don’t gulp that drink right now, I’ll order you a martini instead. Sigh…
8. Manly Men Don’t Shape Their Eye Brows.
Picture the perfect Gerard Butler with eye brows shaped like Beyonce.
I’m all for manscaping, but manly men should leave their eyebrow shape be!
9. Manly Men Don’t Say “Mommy”.
“Who is that calling you, Gerard?” “Oh, it’s my mommy!”
Mr. Butler please refer to her in the future as mom, ma, mother, or even madre.
10. Manly Men Don’t Eat Half A Chocolate At A Time.
Gerard ate one of your chocolates by delicately biting it in half before popping the rest in his mouth.
As far as manly men are concerned, chocolate truffles are bite size…as in ONE bite.
What catches you off guard when you see/hear it from a macho man?