Friday, November 7, 2014

List: Short People Problems


For as long as I could remember, I wished that my torso was stretched out and my legs were longer.
Unfortunately, I currently stand at the very low height of 5 foot and half an inch tall.
I mean, for the love of God, 4” inch heels only make me average height!!
I never thought that my opinion would change, until last week.

When walking in a store with MushyFace, I hold her hand firmly and lead her where we need to go.
When MyMan walks with Mushyface, his 6’4 body has to hunch down to a very uncomfortable position.
By the time he walks down one aisle, he’s already complaining about the back pain.
Insert evil snicker here.

That’s when I realized that being short isn’t all that bad.
Well, at least until I remembered all of these awful things…

1.       Can you get that down for me?
Oh, how I despise saying those words to all of you who tower over me.

2.       Where did Jax go?
I’m here!!  Here lost in the mob of people that are forcing me to walk in the wrong direction!!

3.       Can you hem that pair of pants 2 feet and the sleeves of that shirt 6 inches?
Tailors should pay me with all the fabric I involuntarily donate.

4.       Remember, little things come in small packages.
Say it to me one more time, and the next time you’re down here, I will smack you in the face.

5.       You hit the curb again?
You drive in my world of invisible curbs that you can’t see and tell me how many YOU hit!!

6.       Heyy shorty, how YOU doin?!
Um, forget you and you’re prejudice lingo. I do take offense to that, jerk.

7.       Can you help me down?
I’m stuck on the countertop because I couldn’t find my step stool and I needed the bread crumbs.

8.       But the pool is only 5’ deep!
I’m only 5’ deep. My swimming stamina is zero, and If I stand, I’ll drown!

9.       You’re so small that I swear I can just pick you up, see.
Put. Me. Down. Right. Now.

10.  Wow, you’re short.
Really?

Do you have tall/short people problems?

31 comments:

  1. Morning!
    That started me off with a good chuckle Jax ♥️
    I stand at 5"4"....rounded off from a peasley 5"4"!!! that extra 1" makes all the difference...
    Your examples are hilarious!
    My kids say I am getting shorter! Thanks guys! Just you wait!!!
    Enjoy your day shorty....oooops...sorry....er...umm...hahaha! :o)
    Cheers!
    Linda :o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I can make you chuckle. :)

      LOL If we really do shrink as get older, I'm screwed. I can't get much lower! haha

      Delete
  2. lmao bah it's okay to get the short end of the stick. You can just literally come up short sometimes. You can keep everyone on a short leash. Short and sweet isn't neat? Feel like you got short changed? No good a short stop? Hope you aren't a day late and a dollar short. Never get caught short or sell yourself short. I guess life is always short. To make a long story short. I think you got the long and short of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eep!!! That's some comment. Real nice, cat!!!! We are totally, 100% FIGHTING. You might be average height for a cat, but I'm still bigger than YOU. :( :( :( :(

      Delete
    2. lol the cat just has to send some hair your way and you'll sneeze and lose any fight. The cat still wins! Sorry you came up short again lmao

      Delete
    3. The cat will never win! He can't use my allergy against me. :( :( That would be cheating. I was talking about a fair fight!!

      Delete
  3. I am slightly below average height and any area I am only "slightly below" average I count it as a moral victory. Though I see what you are saying about people's snide comments... like they are the first person clever enough to notice you are 5 foot and thought of making a joke about it... it's not funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's really not! I mean, thanks for noticing me down here, but you didn't have to remind me. :P

      Delete
  4. in good news, men usually find lil' women sexy :)
    I wouldn't mind being a bit taller, but I don't care much, I love people of all shapes and sizes :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is surprisingly true. Most of the men I've dated were over 6 feet tall. My fiancee now is 6'4. So, there is another positive. :) haha

      Delete
  5. I'm right at that height where I can't be called short, but I need one more inch go reach things on heigh shelves. My old work used to think I was the laziest person there because I couldn't reach the to go boxes and always needed help.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL We aren't lazy...we're short! haha Well.. you're almost short. :P

      Delete
  6. I assume you're probably Daisy's height, I always thought you were taller. She hates being short, but at least you're a woman. Short men not only have all those problems, they are picked on and have a lot harder time getting dates.

    I'm thankfully 5'11" but it wasn't until 9th grade when I started to get my height.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really? You just made me smile!! I may be little, but give off the impression of a 6 footer, huh? :)

      You're right about the woman thing. It's a lot rougher for men to be short than a woman.

      Delete
  7. I don't have short people problems. I'm just average. I do, however, have problems with lists. My very first blog post was a list and it didn't take me long to realize how corny it was. Ever since then every time I see a list I go into this blind rage and attack its author. Even when my wife gives me a grocery list I turn red and start screaming.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WorkingDan, how can you hate the neatness of a list?? I mean, if you ever need to refer to something in the future, you can just say "Look at #6" without have to read the whole blasted thing. No? Ok...

      You would HATE being married to me then. I make an excel spreadsheet that predicts the amount it will be at check out. Then I make it a game to see how close I was. lol!!!!! Every. Single. Week.

      Delete
  8. It's 'good things come in small packages', right? lol.... you're so cute. For a woman, I think shorter is better than too tall....

    fun post....making me laugh! Now get off the counter! ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol at least you got a good laugh :)

      Delete
  9. Aw dear you are really funny!
    And make laugh!
    BTW yesterday I made a comment but is not here!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blogger keeps eating comments!! I cant comment on a few peoples either. At least it worked now..

      Delete
  10. Awesome List and,Great post! MUCH LOVE AND SUPPORT

    I post daily aswell come check out my blog!

    My blog: MakeItUpOrFunny!
    .

    ReplyDelete
  11. my employers are tall and i cannot reach anythingggg. stools all day.

    ReplyDelete
  12. As another short person, I can relate! One of the things I hate the most is sitting in a chair and having me feet swing like a five year old, instead of touching the ground. And the pants thing! So annoying trying to buy a new pair.

    ReplyDelete

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