For as long as I could remember, I wished that my torso was stretched out and my legs were longer.
Unfortunately, I currently stand at the very low height of 5 foot and half an inch tall.
I mean, for the love of God, 4” inch heels only make me average height!!
I never thought that my opinion would change, until last week.
When walking in a store with MushyFace, I hold her hand firmly and lead her where we need to go.
When MyMan walks with Mushyface, his 6’4 body has to hunch down to a very uncomfortable position.
By the time he walks down one aisle, he’s already complaining about the back pain.
Insert evil snicker here.
That’s when I realized that being short isn’t all that bad.
Well, at least until I remembered all of these awful things…
1. Can you get that down for me?
Oh, how I despise saying those words to all of you who tower over me.
2. Where did Jax go?
I’m here!! Here lost in the mob of people that are forcing me to walk in the wrong direction!!
3. Can you hem that pair of pants 2 feet and the sleeves of that shirt 6 inches?
Tailors should pay me with all the fabric I involuntarily donate.
4. Remember, little things come in small packages.
Say it to me one more time, and the next time you’re down here, I will smack you in the face.
5. You hit the curb again?
You drive in my world of invisible curbs that you can’t see and tell me how many YOU hit!!
6. Heyy shorty, how YOU doin?!
Um, forget you and you’re prejudice lingo. I do take offense to that, jerk.
7. Can you help me down?
I’m stuck on the countertop because I couldn’t find my step stool and I needed the bread crumbs.
8. But the pool is only 5’ deep!
I’m only 5’ deep. My swimming stamina is zero, and If I stand, I’ll drown!
9. You’re so small that I swear I can just pick you up, see.
Put. Me. Down. Right. Now.
10. Wow, you’re short.
Do you have tall/short people problems?