Tuesday, January 31, 2012

To PETA, or Not To PETA

So I get out of work yesterday and my friend, AReliableSource, was stuck in the parking lot.  The poor guy's battery died because he never shut his lights off.  Being the nice person that I am, I volunteered some of TheLoveBug's juice to jump start his monster truck.  Ok, so it was just a Blazer...but to TheLoveBug that's still monstrous!!  Turns out she just wasn't strong enough to give that beast a kick start.  My poor girl was left out of breathe and weak from that bad boy!!

While my innocent, little car was being violated by that he-man, AReliableSource and I got into a whole conversation about PETA.  You all know how I am all for animal rights.  For those of you who are new, I'm being vegetarian for a year to save animals.  I do this meatless cleanse every other year.  That being said, sometimes PETA is on point and sometimes they just goes too far.  




Do you recognize that cute, little Italian guy up there???  That's Mario!!!  PETA unleashed the hate on Super Mario Brothers and its' Tanooki suit.  Apparently this is against animal rights.  


Immediate Reaction:  A virtual (just to clarify, virtual means NOT REAL) character wearing a virtual costume is apparently against animal rights.   What's the Jax opinion on this?  Jax thinks that people need hobbies.  If people are so concerned with animal rights, go rescue a dog from an animal shelter.  Leave the damn video games to the techies.  And who's to say that Mario's suit isn't faux fur???!!??  


You can find proof of this
Warning:  Do not watch the video on the PETA website if you have a weak stomach or are easily disturbed.  That video had me in tears.
or

Educated Reaction:  I completely agree with PETA.  To skin an animal alive is not only cruel and inhumane, but it's sickening.  The research I did on real life Tanooki suits and fur has me sick to my stomach.  It's funny how your opinion changes after you educate yourself.   No living creature should be subjected to the fate of being skinned alive or bludgeoned to death for a fashion statement.  While Mario may be an extreme method of lashing out, it got people's attention.

I went from thinking PETA was being silly, to a full on supporter.
Was I manipulated by the organization, or do you agree with their stand?

-Jax

Monday, January 30, 2012

I say, I say, I say!

Happy Monday!!!  I know that everyone hates Mondays, but I personally love them.  I'm all rested from the weekend and ready to start a whole new week.  It's when Wednesday or Thursday comes around that I'll be dragging my feet.  Thank God for Revenge, VD, and TSC!!! 

anddd onto today's post... There are certain things you should never say in professional company. Being the chatterbox that I am, my manager relies on me to break the ice during awkward business luncheons, meetings, etc.  Apparently, my "discussions" are humorous and animated enough to brighten any work event.  Hey, I didn't get the nickname Little Ms. Fun for no reason ;)  Plus, I hate awkward silences. 

While I'm normally good at this whole entertaining thing talking about TV shows, travel, and who knows what else, sometimes I slip up.  The pressure of entertaining large groups of professional, Japanese men can be VERY intimidating.  Yes, even for me!  So the next time you're in this situation, make sure to stay far away from these conversation starters...

1.  Humanzee.  Two weeks ago during a luncheon, I found 10 coworkers sitting at a table in very awkward silence.  I reached and grabbed at every corner of my brain for something to talk about.  All that came out was "Did you ever hear about Humanzee?"  Even I surprised myself at what came out of my mouth.  Sigh...Lucky for me they didn't and we got a 15 minutes convo out of it!

2.  Milk.  Going on a rant about how discusting you find milk is never a good idea either.  The look on everyone's face when I started the whole "Humans are the only spieces that goes out of their way to drink another mammal's milk.  You don't see a goat sucking on a cow utter."  Their faces were priceless!

3.  Leprosy.  As you all now know, I'm a hypocondriac.  I recently read an article about controlled diseases and their symptons.  During a meeting I exclaimed "I think I have leprosy"Well, my toe really was numb!!!!!!

4.  Leaf.  When I worked for the washer company (You know, the little round things with a hole in the middle...), I had to call in late.  When my manager asked me why I blurted out "I tripped on a leaf". Ok, so maybe I just slipped on it, but either way I went down and scuffed my pants!  I never lived that one down...

5.  Serial Killer Plan.  I have a very active, wild imagination.  Pair that with a fear of serial killers and you get all sorts of crazy.  Every place I work I make a plan of what to do if a serial killer walks through the doors.  For the love of God, whatever you do, DON'T tell people about this.  For those of you who are curious, I would dive in RussianHatMan's cubicle and hide while he wards off the intruder with his Avatar figurines that are conveniently accessible at the top of his cubicle.

6.  Hawk.  Don't walk into the office all flustered screaming that a hawk just attacked you.  They will call the building's security, and you will have to submit a report.  Listen, that hawk was sitting there all perched like he was going to scoop me up, fly away, and then eat me for breakfast!!!!!  To make matter worse, a co-worker witnessed me go into a full fledged sprint into the front doors while screaming help.  Sigh...

What are you work talking flubs?

-Jax

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Sis Adore the Enemy

This was a birthday weekend.
It was Sis's birthday.
She has been my best friend since we were little kids.
She turned 24.
Friday, we all went out to a local bar to celebrate her getting old birthday.
Just to prove that we really are getting old, we were all home by 1am.

Happy Birthday Sis!!!!

She's a keeper!!
****************************************************************

Has anyone heard of Adore hair dye?  When I went to the lady who does my hair Friday (because all of you with that shampoo rant had me paranoid...), she noticed that my naturally dark hair was finally getting hints of the red in it.  Well, it's 3 dye jobs later and it's still just a HINT of red.  To get the job done, she suggested the above semi-permanent hair dye.  It's supposed to stain your hair into a very bright color and then slowly wash out over the course of a month.  Since I'm brave and can always dye it back to black, I'm going to test this dye out today.  Here's to not looking like an Oompa Loompa!  Which I recently found out is the name of a gang in Queens.  The Oopmas!!  Sigh...

******************************************************

...and finally...As you all know, the Giants and the Patriots are going to the Superbowl.  My poor boys are being blasted here in NY, and I can barley say anything without getting jumped.  The cover of every Newspaper here is headlined with "The End of Brady" and "Patriots Suck".  I went into the deli Saturday morning, and there's a football pool labeled "Patriots, Boooo" and "Kill em Eli".  I listen to the radio, and it's all covered songs BASHING poor New England.  I'm surrounded by the enemy. 


Sending my boys some love from the shit talking NY <3

What did you do this weekend???

-Jax

Friday, January 27, 2012

I'm Guilty...

Happy Friday Everyone!!


Sorry, I couldn't resist.  Please don't be mad at me if this song remains in your brain for several weeks.

So, I was talking to Madre last night about my blog.  While she loves my lists of things that annoy me, she called me out for the hypocrite that I am.   I, too, do very annoying things.  Don't you feel better after admitting something like that?  She went on and on listing all the incredibly obnoxious things I do.  

1.  So.  Apparently I start the majority of every conversation with saying "Soooo...".  I really don't get what's annoying about that, but mother knows best, right?  Sigh...

2.  Flying Forks.  When I decide to talk mid meal, I subconsciously start waving my utensil around like I'm conducting an orchestra.  After getting splashed in the face with syrup during breakfast one day, Madre flipped her lid on this annoying habit!

3.  Hypochondriac.  You can't mention some sort of disease, ailment, or ache without me immediately diagnosing myself with a similar very rare illnesses.  TheViking found a tick on him earlier this week.  I itched for two days while Googling the symptoms for lymes disease.

4.  Exclamation.  I get overly excited over silly, little things.  Isn't! That! So! Exciting!!!!!!! Sorry, couldn't help myself...

5.  Shampoo.  I refuse to use the same shampoo twice in week.  I need a shampoo-case when we go away.  If I'm ever forced to endure the horror using the same shampoo... well, let's not go there.  It's not pretty!
6.  Punch.  When I get real excited, I tend to hit whoever's near me.  No worries! I don't hit hard enough for it actually be annoying...

7.  Imitate.  I feel the need to imitate everyone and everything almost every day.  Brother and I went grocery shopping when the cashier randomly looked at me and exclaimed "I can't eat soup".  For the past few months Brother and I have been going around imitating that poor guy who made that one innocent statement.  I can't help it!  It runs in the family!

8.  Bulk.  I can never just buy one of anything.  I live alone and yet I still feel the need to buy enough for a family of 10.  That's not obnoxious!  You get such a good deal when you buy 24 rolls of toilet paper...

9.  Buttons.  If there's a button, I need to push it.  My fingers can't control themselves.  One time Nanny got stuck in front of our house for an hour because I hit God knows what button in her car.  Ok, maybe that's a little annoying...

10.  Giggles.  I laugh way too much.  I have a constant case of the giggles.  Apparently I even laugh at very inappropriate times.  That annoys a mother.  Sorry Madre for have a giggle attack almost every time I call.  I know it's a little obnoxious answering the phone just to listen to me cracking up!  At least I'm happy!  Plus, it's so contagious, it makes her laugh at me laughing!

So that's it.  I won't dish anymore negativity about myself!  At least now I can not be called a hypocrite.  I can now blog about any little thing in the world that annoys me.  Why?  Because I listed everything that I do that annoys other people!  Madre must be so proud! 

What are your annoying habits?

-Jax

....What?  I already did my signature!  See, it's right there!!!  Oh my, you're right!  How could I forget to post that on a Friday???  Sigh...Sorry guys... just don't tell Ian!

He's way too beautiful to forget about.  Yum!
-Jax  (Am I allowed to sign twice???)  Have a great weekend!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Playin Games!

Guess what?!
I got another award!!!!!
This made my day and had me smiling for a while :)

I received the Liebster award from the amazing Erin at Popcorn, Pugs, and Peonies.  Go check her out because she's pretty amazing!!  And no, she's not just amazing because she gave me an award.  I've loved her blog way before that!  

Liebster in German means dearest, beloved, or favorite, and it's for bloggers with under 200 followers.


The rules are: 
1. Thank your Liebster Blog Award presenter on your blog
2. Link back to the blogger who awarded you
3. Copy & paste the blog award on your blog
4. Reveal your 5 blog picks
5. Let them know you chose them by leaving a comment on their blog

I usually don't link back to other bloggers because it's so damn difficult to pick just FIVE blogs.  If you guys look to the right, I have a list of some of my favorite bloggers.  That's where I give my shouts.  Today I am going to make an exception because it's for people who have less than 200 followers.  Ok, here are my five.  No getting upset if I didn't pick you!!  I promise that I really love you all!!


*****************************************************************

Well now that the dirty work is done...Onto my new obsession alert:  Ok, so maybe it's not a NEW obsession.  It's actually a pretty old obsession, but I still feel the need to share the love.

Have you ever heard of isketch.net?
No, it has nothing to do with Apple computers!



Isketch is an online computer game that is very similar to Pictionary.  You join a chat room with a group of strangers or friends.  You then have to guess a secret word that someone else in the room is drawing.  It will eventually be your turn to draw the secret word.  That's the hard part.  Last night someone guessed hammer to my picture of a chicken.  Sigh... 

This is what the play screen looks like.  I found this pic on Google!  That is NOT my artwork!  I draw so much worse than that... hahaha
At least once a week, all my cousins or friends will meet in an isketch chat room and play for a few hours.  We crack up!!  It's a great time.  A simple game that leads to a lot of laughs is ok by me.  Plus, I'm so over guitar hero and Dragonball Z.  Oh shhh, I play Manjin Buu like no other!  It's also a very interactive game.  There's an area to chat with the people in the room.  There's also options to hug, kiss, hit, and what ever else you want to do to your opponents.  I made a few isketch friends that way!  Does that make me an isketch whore??? hahaha

Will you be playing isketch???
If so, let me know!  I'll be there somewhere...

-Jax

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

B/c not everyone has common sense...

Happy Hump Day Everyone!!  Yes, it's Wednesday.  Isn't that grand?  I wanted to go off on a little bit of a rant today.  Stop it, I'm allowed to do that!  As you all know, I work for a Japanese company.  While I'm the minority here, I love working for these people!  It really is a great company.  That being said, there are a few seeds here that seriously rub me the wrong way.  Cultural differences aside, there are certain things that you just don't do at work or anywhere else for that matter!  I know, who am I to talk?  I got my entire office up in arms over the existence of a rare, miniature Philippine monkey last week.  But hey, the managers enjoyed it!

A Jax Work Etiquette Rant:

1.  Eyelash.  I get that it's really painful to have something rubbing against your eyeball.  But for the love of God, did you REALLY just ask me to blow into your eye for you while you hold your eye lids open???  It's work.  Go into the bathroom and take care of yourself.  For those of you who are curious, I did blow into her eyeball.  I'm too nice to say no.  Awkward...


2.  Rain.  It's 100% inappropriate to turn your garbage pail liner into a poncho.  I swear on anything I love this really happened.  3 years ago a co-worker put two holes into a garbage pail liner and walked outside looking like she was wearing a Halloween ghost costume.  Are people serious?!?!?!

3.  Language.  It's a horrible idea to curse at your desk.  It's an even worse idea to scream F bombs over applying incorrect payment amounts.  Yes, RussianHatMan, I'm looking at you!!!!!!

4.  Lotion.  It's bad when people put on over powering perfumes or lotions in an office environment.  It's even worse when you sit across from someone who insists on wearing GRASS scented hand cream that stinks to high heavens.  Forget the person wearing it, how about the person who made it!?


5.  Lah.  It's very unprofessional to sing "LAHHH" in a high pitched, show tune like voice every time you fix an error.  Although it does make me crack up every time that HE does this.  Yes, it's a he.


6.  Spiders.  No coworker wants to be subjected to you googling pictures of spiders just because you want to know if they've seen that species before.  Yes, RussianHatMan, I'm looking at you again!


7.  Ringtone.  To start off, you shouldn't have your cell phone ringer on blast while you're at work.  As a follow up to that rule, you shouldn't be the manly man of the office with your ringtone set as Alanis Morsette.  Love her, but jus saying...


8.  Wig.  You should never remove your wig mid workday and place it on your desk for all to stare at.  I get that it might get itchy, but really, it's staring me down?!

9.  Threats.  There is zero room for any kind of threat in a professional environment.  Please refrain from making these on the clock.  That includes you, ScaryLady that threatens to kill her mother if she doesn't sign legal documents loud enough for the entire office building to hear!!


10.  This ones for me.  As I mentioned above, the majority of the people here are Japanese and speak very little English.  3 years ago when I was offered this position, I finished my first A/R Index.  Proud of my accomplishment, I walked into the CEO's office and asked him where he would like it.  He responded, but what it was that he said, I had ZERO clue.  After a few "excuse me"s and a couple "what was that"s, I told him I would be more than happy to oblige and asked him to e-mail me the details of the assignment.  It's easier to correspond with them through e-mail, even if they are only 3 feet away.  It was my last resort considering I still didn't know what he was asking!  I walked back to my desk and sat down.  That's when I read the e-mail from the CEO.  It said "Please leave the papers on my desk".  Sigh...


Any work rants you want to get out of your system?
Feel free to leave them below.  :)
-Jax

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Be Mine Or Be Bates!

January is coming to a quick end and February is around the corner.  Before we know it Valentines day is going to come and go.  What are your Valentines day plans?  Since this will be my first Valentine's day single in a few years, my g/f and I decided to be each others Valentines.  Pshhh, who needs boys!?!?!  hahaha  I thought it was going to be a simple girls night with a bottle of wine, a tub of ice cream, and a crap load of cheesy chick flicks.  I had zero intentions of buying a gift nor receiving one.  Look at me being a Scrooge on the day of loovveee.  hahaha  But then, I signed up for this:




I signed up through Summer's page, Famous In My Own Mind.  It seems like a cute way to get creative and even a little festive.  Maybe I'll make 2 cards.  One for my secret Valentine and the other for my g/f!  lol


Will you be signing up for the card swap?
Why wouldn't you?  You might get me!! =P

*****************************************************************

Ok, enough about that silly holiday, and onto my rant!  A few years back Brother and Madre were talking about an actress.  Her name is Kathy Bates.  At the time I had zero clue who she was, so I thought they made her up.  What?  That's not a reasonable conclusion?  For those of you who have no clue who she is, this is what she looks like.

She does exist!!
Well, sometime Sunday night Madre and I starting arguing over Mrs. Bate's existence once again.   Now I just do it to annoy her!  That led to a twitter post that went something along the lines of "I refuse to believe that Kathy Bates exists".  Minutes later I had a response from someone swearing she's very real and ranting that they saw her bare all in a porno. Hold up.  Kathy Bates has a porno???????  Madre and I didn't believe this twitter follower so we laughed it off and went on with life.

I would be lying if I said that the mystery of the porno wasn't eating at my brain.  I had difficulty sleeping that night because I just couldn't bring myself to fathom such a thing.  That's when I got up and dialed Madre at a very unreasonable hour.  Don't give me that look!  Madre had it on her mind too!  I used my little fingers to Google the words "Kathy Bates Porn".  I'm so ashamed that those words escaped my poor little finger tips to be delivered into the world wide web.

That's when it came up.  Some scene from a movie with Jack Nicholson.  The actress was at minimum in her late 50s.  Kathy Bates came out of a home wearing nothing but a robe.  Within seconds the robe was removed from her body and there she was in all her glory.  My eyes!!!!!  They burned!!!  My spleen!!!  It was on the verge of bursting from laughing so hard!!!  I couldn't believe what I just went out of my way to watch.  I saw everything.  The worst part was, Madre made me watch it twice so I could give her a detailed play by play simply because she couldn't believe the horror that we were putting ourselves through.

And then I called in sick to work due to slight vision loss.
What was your worst excuse for missing work?

-Jax

P.S.  Writing this post gave me horrid flashbacks.  I feel another sleepless night coming due to haunting nightmares.  Sigh...

Monday, January 23, 2012

Hot & Cold

Happy Monday everyone!!  How was your Sunday Funday???  Please tell me that you watched the Patriots vs. Ravens game?!  Talk about heart palpitations!!  I'm used to yelling and swinging punches, but this time I was jumping up and taking nervous strolls around a coffee table!!  That was an EXTREMELY close game, but we pulled through in the end.  While I'm sure that we won because of all the good luck paraphernalia I wore, I have to give the game to Moore knocking the ball out of the Raven's claws in the last 20 seconds of the game.  I'm sorry?  What was that about the Patriot's defense?  Exactly...  So in celebration of the New England Patriots making it into the Superbowl, here are some sexy pictures of my future boy toy, Aaron Hernandez.  Enjoy!!

Via
Via
Other than my Pat's victory, college classes starting up again, and me setting a wooden spoon on fire - What?  Explain?  I spilled some oil into the bottom part of my oven.  So the genius in my head said to "make the oven 450 degrees so the oil would melt.  Then take a wooden spoon and scrape the oil off."  Turns out this was an awful idea considering the spoon hit the coil, went on fire, and melted some of the skin off my finger.  Sigh...  -, Long Island had it's first snow fall of the season!  Growing up I hated the cold and the snow.  I've never even gone skiing or snowboarding or anything before.  Snow is wet, cold, and makes TheLoveBug drive down the street worse than a sled going down a hill.  While that is all still true, I'm slowly becoming a fan of this colder weather.  

1.  Hair.  My hair is the reason for 95% of all my life decisions.  Don't deny it ladies!  You know it's true!!  I go through hell for straight hair.  The cold weather eliminates humidity zapping any sign frizz from my natural curly hair.

2.  Skin.  My skin is tighter in the winter.  My pores are also invisible.  The annoying shine on my face vanishes as well.  Oily skin is the Sicilian curse!!

3.  Scarves.  I love them.  They keep my neck warm.  Enough said.

4.  Crowds.  Restaurants, stores, parking lots and just about every else is much less crowded.  The cold keeps people home.  Imagine only 2 people in front of you in the Starbucks line all year round!  Amazing...

5.  Landscape.  While everyone may hate snow for the own reasons, no one can deny that it's gorgeous to look at.

6.  Reb'l Fleur.  The Winter time is the perfect season to rock Rihanna's perfume.  I loveee this perfume!

7.  Snuggie.  Winter is cuddle time.  Bust out that Snuggie!!  Remember when I introduced Snug Jones here?

8.  Baggy Sweaters.  Everyone always teases me that it's my signature look.  I love baggy sweaters that only cover one shoulder.  Plus, it gives you room for that second red velvet cheesecake brownie.  Yum!!

9.  Body Butter.  Dry skin calls for slabs of White Chocolate body butter.  Smooth skin and smelling delicious?  Yes, Please!!

10.  Heat.  No, not in your house!  The use of the heat in your car does not guzzle all your gas like putting on your AC.  See, the cold weather saves you money!!

What's do you love or hate about the Winter??

-Jax

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Goodluck & A Birthday

Today is a birthday.
Happy Birthday Dad!!!
Err, I mean TheViking...

I've always been a daddy's girl :)
Problem is, he doesn't take pictures...
But there he is.
The Viking in the flesh on his birthday.
Make it a good a one with MANY more to follow.
<3
Today's not just TheViking's birthday, it's the big game with my boys and the NFL players from Baltimore.  This game decides who goes to the Superbowl.  Will it be my New England Patriots or the Baltimore Ravens??  Knock on wood!!!!  You all remember when I jinxed my Pats?  I wrote all about it  here.  I'm hoping not to do it again, but I can't help myself.  My pride needs to be shown...


...with my Patriots Socks...

...silver and blue eye shadow...


...my Aaron Hernandez jersey...

...ridiculous twitter shout outs...

...and losing my voice screaming.

No matter the results of the game, I'm proud to be a New England fan.  They had a great run and deserve to be where they are right now.  Good luck, Pats!!  Especially to my man, Aaron Hernandez.  To the brick wall, Rob Gronkowski.  To the master, Tom Brady.  To the skilled, Wes Welker.  And to the defense because God knows they could use it.  And, please, for the love of God, avoid passing ANY balls to that Ochocinco!!!


Sending my Patriots some love and luck from New York.
Now let's hope I don't get jumped walking the streets like this.  lol


-Jax

Update:::  We won!!!!  Congratulations New England.  Can't wait to see you all in the Superbowl.  <3

Friday, January 20, 2012

Here fishy, fishy...

Now you all know how much I love me some Ian Somerhalder...


...and you all know how Chris Zylka is a delicious dessert...


...but there's a new course to this spicy meal.
Introducing, the voo doo boy toy, Grey Damon.


Happy Friday Ladies ;)
The CW is scorching hot on Thursday nights.  Just sayin...

My girlfriend is currently being pursued by a real cutie.  From what we know about him, he's the full package and everything that she's been looking for.  Yea, I'm sure there will eventually be a catch...but for now...we like him!  He is dangling the bait right in front of her face, but she's not nibbling.  For the love of God, bite the bait!!!

1.  Rock Solid.  I'm all for playing hard to get, but you have to let them eventually catch you.  While you're pretending to be Dori (just keep swimming...), your fisherman may get distracted by a sexy star fish halfway through the chase.

2.  Stuck on.  Ok, so you stopped playing hard to get, but now your clinging onto him tighter than Adam Lambert's pants.  No one wants a barnacle glued to their ass.  You all know that if you get a barnacle stuck to you, you're going STRAIGHT to the doctor.  Can that happen anyways???

3.  Initiative.  You can't expect the man to do all the asking or make all the moves.  You need to go out of your way to show that you're interested as well.  Those fisherman like angel fish in the sea and cat fish  in the aquarium.  Brown-Chicken, Brown-Cow...oh wait, we're doing fish talk...

4.  Moody.  When my girl gets nervous, she puts up her guard and starts with the attitude!  One minute she's a fun dolphin and the next she's attacking like a shark on steroids.  Take the bait and be yourself.  Find a happy medium.  Be a Shar-lphin!!! hahaha

5.  Genuine.  If you choose to eventually take the bait, be genuinely happy about it.  Don't agree to go on the date and then be nothing but a crab the entire time.  If you really don't want to go, make like a snail and sllloowwwwlllyyy back away.

The best advice that I was able to give my girl was to pick up the phone and give him a buzz like an eel call.  She needs to bite that bait and go on a hot date with him this weekend.  I know that she's into him, she's just nervous when it comes to men.  and you all know how I feel about letting opportunities pass us by...  Well, here's to her hopefully getting reeled in.  She deserves to be a catch of the day!

Happy Weekend Everyone!!!

-Jax

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Scrub a dub dub, 3 Men in a tub...

Before I go on to today's post, I just need to say Holy Revenge!!!  This show just keeps getting juicier.  You know it's really a good show when I'm watching it for the plot and not for an actor...lol!  I got so excited when part of my prediction turned out to be true!  If you haven't checked it out yet, you really should.  Like, right now...

I googled Revenge pictures and this came up.  It made me smile.  You're welcome!!
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I've spent the past 2 months rekindling my romance with MrBikeRide.  Remember him?  He's my ex from 2 years ago that my father hates with a passion.  Having enough of the games, I ended things with him last week.  I flat out told him that we broke up for a reason and that things just weren't going to work out.  We were both rekindling our romance just because we were bored.  We both deserve better than that.  He barely argued against it so I figured that would be the end of that.

Saturday came and I went on to carry out my usual routine of sitting at my dad, TheViking's, dry cleaners.  This is where I socialize and man hunt.  Don't judge!  That's when I got a text message from MrBikeRide saying "Looking sexy behind the counter ;)".  Annoyed and a little confused, I put the phone down and never answered the text.  That's when he called and I realized that he was outside of TheViking's shop.  Sad part is MrBikeRide is WELL aware that TheViking does not like him.  Does he have a death wish showing up at TheViking's shop?  In attempt to stop a huge braul that was destined to go down, I ran outside and jumped in his car.  MrBikeRide wasn't having any of it.  He insisted on going inside and saying hello to the man that would love to knock him out.  Lovely...

As I hesitantly got out of the car, I spotted him.  Who's him?  Let's call him CrazyMan...  CrazyMan was walking dancing into TheViking's laundry mat to imaginary music.  He wasn't just boppin to the fake music, he was totally getting jiggy with it!  I try to avoid people like this, so I rushed into the cleaners under the protection of my daddy.

That's when CrazyMan snapped.  He turned around and started screaming at the tops of his lungs.  He called my dad, TheViking, every name in the book.  He threatened to bash us when his album drops in 2012 (He clearly has no concept of time...).  That's when CrazyMan let slip what was really bothering him.  So what was causing his invisible panties to bunch up? 

"I just want YOU to wash MY feet!!!!!"
Would you wash those suckers????  Gag, barf, twitch...
While TheViking still despises MrBikeRide, he has a new found respect for him.  My ex had my father's back and helped to escort CrazyMan from the establishment.  It's funny how things happen.  I end things and then CrazyMan assists in developing a relationship between them.  Oh well.  Better late than never...

What extreme circumstance took place for your (wo)man to get in with the family?

-Jax

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

"F" is for Friends Who Do Stuff Together...

I love my apartment and everything to do with it.  My landlords are amazing, the location is great, and the place itself is brand spanking new!  There's just one problem.  I'm all alone.  Don't read too far into that!  Jax still enjoys her personal space.  lol  While I'm not ready for a room mate of ANY kind, I would like a pet.  It's time for Jax to get a little critter companionship.  I would like a little buddy to keep me company at home and smother me with unconditional love.

One thing you guys don't know about me is that I'm the queen of critters.  No, I did not dub myself with that title.  I earned it years ago.  You name the creature and at one point or another, I had one.   I've had fish, fire bellied toads, pac man frogs, scorpions, a one eyed mouse, and a king snake.  The list doesn't end there.  Those were just a few of my little babies.


This is  Cob.  He's an albino corn snake.  He was a lovely pet that I loved to play around with.  He was my third snake and died an early death.  My old land lord decided to exterminate without my knowledge one day while I was at work.  And you can add killing an innocent animal to the list of reasons why I moved out!


This is Beautiful.  Although I named him Beautiful, my dad would only call him Ralph!  He is an Iguana.  He was a gift from my ex-b/f, TheGreek.  This little guy grew up way to fast.  After a year and a half he hit about 4-1/2 feet long with a tail.  I was forced to give him up for adoption to a great reptile lover.  This picture was taken after he was adopted.  At least my baby looks happy and I get to see him from time to time :(



This is Deraj.  Jared spelled backwards after the beautiful Jared Padalecki.  He is a Hedgehog.  This little guy was so much fun!!  Until he pricked you...


This is Mada.  Adam spelt backwards for Adam Lambert.  He was also a Hedgehog.  This is Deraj's brother.  Tell me he isn't the most adorable thing you've ever seen!!  I loved this little guy to death.  Plus, he never pricked me.  Ever...



This is Mac N. Cheese.  I just called him Mac.  He was a gecko.  I had him longer than any other pet.  I took him everywhere with me!  This little guy went for visits to nanny's house and even to my dad's shop to bask outside in the sun.  During my surgery, Madre babysat him for 3 months until I was well enough to take care of him again.  He really was my baby.



And who could forget my two little wiener pooches??  On the left is Sir Reginald Winston and on the right is Sir Phillip Bluda.  They are Dachshunds.  They have been in my family forever.  Even though they no longer live with me, they will always be my boys.

So now that you're a little more familiar with my long list of pets, I have no idea who to bring into my new home.  Sometimes I feel like adopting the same type of animal is like replacing the ones I had prior. I mean, how could I get another gecko after having the best one in the world??  I'm going to have to really think about this, but in a few months, I hope to have a new room mate.  

What pets do you spoil rotten??

-Jax

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Good News & Bad News

I can't believe it's only Tuesday night!!!  It so feels like a Wednesday.  Sometimes I swear that these 3 day weekends just make the rest of the work week that much harder.  Look at me complaining about a day off.  I take it back!! lol  

Other than getting my days mixed up, this morning I got good news and bad news.  What do you want to hear first?  Well, I guess it's typical to start with the bad news first, right?  

I heard through the grapevine that Blogger is getting rid of GFC.  Is this really true?  I have absolutely no idea.  What I do know is that I had to take action.  I immediately signed up for Google +.  Signing up was easy, but after that, it's all down hill.  Google+ may be the most single confusing thing I've looked at all day.  That says a lot considering I spent 9 hours with Japanese people trying to run their Accounts Receivables department!  lol  There are a bunch of weird things going on in Google+.  That includes post updates from people that I don't know and CIRCLES!!  What is with the circles?!  Not to mention, whatever I did on there sent out about 3 e-mails to everyone in my address book.  Horrible!  Can anyone confirm the GFC rumor?  Or, better yet, who wants to give me a free tutorial on how to work the damn thing?  Sigh...Come on now!!  We could call it a webinar!! lol


And onto the good news!!  The lovely B from The Opposite of That granted me the honor of an award!! Since it's The Happy 101 award, I get to list 10 things that make me happy.  That should be easy enough considering I used to be Little Ms. Fun.  ;)  Here we go!!


1.  GodSon.  No matter what kind of day I had or how I am feeling, that little boy makes me happier than anything else.  Even if it's just a phone conversation with him mumbling gibberish on the other line, I'm guaranteed to have a smile across my face.  

2.  Glamour.  I love Glamour.  I live for Glamour.  When in doubt, I ask myself WWGD?  Yes, I really just said that.  LOL!  Plus, a date night with Glamour and a glass of wine is the next best thing to a real date with Gerard Butler.  

3.  Clean Blueberries.  I spend extra time washing my blueberries with fruit and veggie cleaner just so the next day at work I can brag all about it.  Seeing those babies shine really does make me a happy lady!

4.  TheLoveBug.  I don't think I could ever get rid of my car.  Just catching a glimpse of her sitting in a parking lot makes me smile.  

5.  Pigs.  I love anything with pigs!  Piggy banks, pig shaped pans, and even expensive Lenox pig figurines all grace my apartment.  I'm seriously looking into getting a micro pig as well!  Oink, oink!

6.  Coconut Scent.  I'm madly in love with coconut scented anything.

7.  Brand New.  The original Brand New c.d. makes so happy!  When I'm upset, I put it on and sing my little heart out.  Don't know them?  Click here for one of my fav songs by them.  You're welcome!

8.  Annoying.  I love to annoy people.  Well, not in an annoying way!  Nothing makes me laugh harder than annoying the crap out of my Brother.

9.  Cavatellis.  Despite my blog being named after Raviolis, cavatellis are my all time favorite pasta.  Yum!!

10.  Patriots.  As if you all didn't know this one already...  Watching my boys kick serious butt really makes me VERY happy.

This is the part where I'm supposed to award 10 new people.  The problem is that I love all of you and genuinely enjoy reading up on your blogs!!  There is a list to the right where I have all my favorite bloggers shouted out.  If you're not on there, no worries, it's prob just because I forgot.  Remind me, and I'll give you a shout!  

What things make YOU happy??
Other than stopping here of course ;)

-Jax

Monday, January 16, 2012

Well, if it's not the spark...

Happy Monday everyone!!  For those of you who were graced with a 3 day weekend, what were your big plans?  I spent mine getting my nails did a bright melon color, dyeing Madre's hair jet black, and annoying the hell out of my dogs.  There's my little weiner pooch, Sir Phillip Bluda, posing with his favorite lady :)


During the quality time I spent with Madre today, we embarked on a very interesting topic.  Everyone always tells me that Madre and I have a lot in common (God help me...), but today it became especially apparent.  Turns out her and I love to fawn over hot men, keep our homes in OCD living conditions, and giggle over every little, stupid thing!  The list doesn't end there.  Apparently we also both like to blame relationships not working on a random, stupid quirk or event.  Yes, we know this is dumb.  But life would be oh so boring if we just blamed it on the "spark" missing...

1.  Boring.  This is my usual excuse.  I need excitement.  If you can't hold a conversation, joke around about nonsense, or be open to try new things, then you're not right for me.

2.  Nose Hairs.  I'm 5 foot.  I spend the majority of my life looking up.  That means my view is normally the inside of your nose.  For the love of God, trim your nose hairs!!!  Sure I could've just bought him trimmers, but that would've been too easy...

3.  Spontaneous.  I'm all for sitting around watching a movie or a TV show, but I'm also all about spontaneity and adventure.  So what if I want to drive 3 hours to go to a Waffle House that Robert Downey Jr. ate at once???  Sigh...

4.  Clingy.  I'm independent and love my life.  If you need to be up my butt 24/7 then it's not going to work.

5.  Nail Clipper.  I once broke up with a guy for clipping his nails.  Don't give me that look!!!!  Imagine you're the passenger in a car when your man screams OMG and clips his nail going 60 mph.  Exactly...

6.  Superstitious.  While I may be guilty of this one, there are extremes!!  My ex's mother used to dip leaves in oil and than wave them in face.  I used to have some weird smoke machine waved under my armpits to ward off spirits before I entered the door.  I could make a whole post about the weird things they made me do...

7.  Bathroom.  Men in a bathroom...yuck.  Between shavings in the sink, pee on the rim of the bowl, and God knows whatever else they do in there, this is a classic excuse for me.  Bad bathroom habits kill my OCD...

Madre and I were cracking up over a cup of tea and a bowl of gingerbread men reminiscing about all these different things.  That's when she started talking about her current gentleman caller.  We can refer to him as TheSnitz.  Why TheSnitz?  Because I don't like him.  Just by the way she speaks about him, I can tell that "it" isn't there.  That's when Madre asked me the big question and gave me the go ahead to ask you:


How do you get a man to shave his head?
See where I'm going with this?  Like mother, like daughter...

-Jax

Sunday, January 15, 2012

All Hail The Champions!!!

Happy Sunday Funday everyone :)  For the newcomers, I'm a huge football fan.  There is nothing sexier than big, brawny men dukeing it out on the football field.  My team is the New England Patriots.  Yes, I'm aware that I'm from NY.  Drop it...lol  Last night was a big game between my Pats and the Denver Broncos.  Brother and I prepared for the worst as we were settling down to watch the game.  We are well aware of the Pats past during play off season.  We are also well aware of their defense not being the bestBottom line:  Tebow and his prayers started to get us a little shaky!  

Brother, Biff, Madre, and I settled down on the couch with tea and hot chocolate ready to watch Tebow Time come to a short demise.

As much as I love me some Tebow and as much as I respect his skill as a rookie quarter back, he was in way over his head.  There was no way the eye candy of Tim Tebow was going to dominate the head master of all quarter backs, Mr. Tom Brady himself.  Although every time Tebow got hit, I couldn't help but utter a slow "yum"...

Give him a few more years experience and a few more lessons from Brady and Tebow will be a real valuable player.
Of course, Brady and Tebow are nothing without a great team to back them up.  While Tebow leads his group as an option QB, Brady leads an offense with two tight ends.  He loves him some tight ends!  And so do I...

 

Introducing my men, Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez, Brady's two favorite tight ends!
Every game these two men manage to find themselves in an open pocket where Brady can pass the ball with ease so they will score.  They have more touch downs than any other player on the Patriots this season.  And, of course, they are beautiful...

The beast himself!!  Gronk deemed his rival that name at the end of the game last night.
While Hernandez has been shown up by Gronkowski the past two months, he has managed to hold his own.  He stands at a very decent height of 6'1, but that's no match to the brick wall standing at 6'6.  Brady has mentioned in interviews before that he has shorter players which tests his skill as a QB.  He has to make up for this by throwing the ball at them instead of towards themBesides, have you seen Gronk's hands?!  They are hugeeee...  As the announcer said, "watch as Gronk engulfs the ball" with those hands!

This picture made me so happy!!  They really are the stars of the show ;)
Aaron Hernandez takes many a hit throughout each game.  Being the bull he is, he pushes on and gets those yards no matter how much grass he has to eat.  Every time he gets hit, I can't help but punch my brother and cheer him on.  My poor brother....  Despite a knee injury early this season, he kept pushing on.  At one point last night, he needed help to limp off a hurting leg.

Look at that bull plowing through!  Hot and bothered yet?
So on this Sunday Funday, I wanted to dedicate a post to the men that made me lose my voice Saturday night.  The men that make me scream at the top of my lungs with foul language at an inanimate object.  The same men that make me beat my brother out of excitement.  I told you to feel bad for him!  To my New England Patriots, congratulations on your well deserved win.  To Aaron Hernandez and Rob Gronkowski, congratulations on your touch downs and to a job well done.  And to Tim Tebow, sorry that you got school by the master Tom Brady...but you're still a beautiful, good boy that all the ladies are swooning over ;).

Who are your football favorites?

-Jax 

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