Wednesday, July 18, 2012

ManlyMen: Part Three

In honor of Buddy and I's friendly battle over the manliest men, I thought I'd bring back an old favorite.
...and for those who may have forgotten, I totally won that battle...
It's been a while since I brought Mr. Butler up here to demonstrate things men should or shouldn't do.

The first time Gerard came around he discussed things manly men shouldn't say.
The second time he came around you all got schooled on some very unmanly actions.
I can only imagine what he's bringing to R&W for round three!!!  

This time around Gerard is here to demonstrate things men should avoid doing within the first 5-10 minutes of meeting a girl.  We all know you men can't hold certain things in too long, so we think 5-10 min is fair game!
If you disagree, feel free to let Mr. Butler me know in the comments section.  You know I love to hear it!

...do you all see what I see??  Just checking...

For those of you that don't remember how this goes, I'll copy and paste my old intro.

I don't know what he-man came to your head, but when I think manly man, the first guy that comes to my mind is Gerard Butler.  Maybe it's the sexy scruff, hot attitude, and the rippling abs...  Either way, I want you to picture the sexy Gerard Butler saying the following things in his deep, rough voice. 
...for the sake of this post let's add "or doing the following things"...

The Wedgie
For the love of God, wait until the sexy, single chick you're talking to walks away to pick it!
A real man could deal with the discomfort for a few extra minutes.
I mean, Gerard, almost everything you do is hot but wedgie picking don't cut the list!!

TheWhiskerPet
You all know how much I love a good scruff, but one thing really skeeves me.
Men, keep the mustache rubbing, beard picking, and facial hair playing to a severe minimum.
Jax gives you her word that your beard never jumped off your face at the sight of that pretty woman!
You don't see Mr. Butler trying to get beard hairs in his calamari now do you???!!?  Etiquette, men!!

TheCrotchScratch
I've seen this in movies and music videos, but recently I've been seeing it in real life.
We all get itches, but can you wait until you find out the girls name before scratching your junk?
Even Gerard knows a real man should wait until at least date #2 before doing this!

TheCasualGrope
"Accidentally" bumping into a girl may be a great, manly tactic to getting our attention, but keep your hands above the waist!  No man should be groping a lady's behind before even saying hello.
Butler doesn't underestimate our intelligence!!  We totally know you did that on purpose.  Perv... 

What "man advice" do you think Gerard would give for first meeting a woman?

63 comments:

  1. Someone picked a wedgie in front of you? Who does that?

    I am with you on the people who play with their facial hair too much. That's just plain weird.

    I'm just going to sit here and stare at Gerard Butler now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Don't drool, girl! I caught myself drooling last night. I had to shake it off ;) LMAO

      Yesssss...men pick wedgies in front of girls!! I saw it about 6 months ago and was like, really?!! I mean, we all do it...but not in front of unsuspecting strangers and potential dates!!!!!!! Hmph...

      The facial hair thing KILLS me!!! Stopppp touching ittttt!!!! Little hairs DO fall out when you do that, dude. Bleh...

      Delete
  2. I suppose if you are Gerard Butler, all you have to do when you meet a girl is avoid scratching your crotch, or going for a cheap feel...but for us average slobs, the bar is set a little higher. We need to do more to get a girl's attention than avoid picking our underwear out of our butt crack. How about some advice on how to make a good first impression with a girl, for us average joes?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ohh, I can do that!! In your honor, Jimmy, it will be posted next week :)

      ...and I think even Gerard Butler needs to do a little more than that to pick up a girl. I mean, it should all be avoided, but even the biggest celebrity needs to put forth a little effort. Maybe a simple "hello", but, still something a little more. lol

      Delete
  3. Oh I hate guys who sit there and play with their damn facial hair so much, I just want to slap them upside the head, annoys me too. Luckily I don't have to be around them much though haha

    Well when you got an itch you got an itch hahahaha oh and letting on rip is a no go too, at least wait until there is a good wind to blow it the opposite direction hahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Always fart upstream, FOR SPARTA!!

      Delete
    2. @Rusty...Just for Sparta? LOL

      @Pat...Right?!?!? Isn't that SKEEVY?? Like, why are you playing with your beard hair for? Or, I knew a guy that would pick at his mustache hair. Like one by one he would give those little hairs a light tug. LIKE, WHY?!?! Bleh gag barf!!!

      Yes, please don't let one rip! Ew!! Men...

      Delete
  4. Funny story. The other day I was getting my hair done and my stylist's boyfriend came to pick her up for lunch. Honest to God, he picked his wedgie right in front of everyone in the salon. Seriously digging in his butt!!! I laughed so hard my water came outta my nose. I really don't know if I can EVAH see that guy again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Omg, legit??? I can't believe men are actually that comfortable with themselves to do such a thing! It's awful!!!! lol Ew, ew, ew!!!!!! lol I would have laughed too...maybe he should have went to that school you send your children...

      Delete
  5. I've found that extending your hand and introducing yourself works wonders.

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    Replies
    1. I totally agree, Bama!! So simple and gets the best results ;)

      Delete
  6. Thanks for the reminders. Being that I've been married FOREVER, I would not know how to act concerning the underwear picking and the butt/ball scratching. I think if I quit cold turkey, my kids would wake up before noon complaining of a deadening silence.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Barfly, I knew that you had class ;) lol

      Delete
  7. I see what you see, Jax...just saying...

    The casual grope - ugh! Hello high school! This still happens, even in the workplace! It's so silly. Oh, really, your arm just happened to land on my boob, really? What are you? 16?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You see it??? Oh, I gasped... Mr. Butler IS a manly man!! YUm lol

      Ohh, that casual grope this is awful! The worst part is, they think we are dumb and don't know that they did it on purpose. Errg

      Delete
  8. I had to laugh about totally noticing what you noticed before even rading that line. Too funny!
    As for tips...keep your eyes on your date and not those of hot women beside you or walking by.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO Right??? It's right there like HELLO. hahahaha

      I love that tip and will have to work in next time. Men don't think we notice them completely staring down the waitress. Like, dude, we're looking at your eyes and can totally tell. lol

      Delete
  9. Yes, when I think manlyman, I think Gerard Butler too. I blame 300.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, he is MANLY and totally YUM YUM :)

      Delete
  10. gerard movie 300 SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He did AWESOME in that movie ;)

      Delete
  11. hear: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvcVJ-1_NaQ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm at work right now, so I can't watch it. But I'll give it a look when I get home :)

      Delete
    2. LMAO I've never seen that before... hahahahaha

      Delete
  12. I was once at my son's football game and in front of me where three relatively good-looking guys standing engrossed in a very sporty conversation. At first I was enjoying the view until I observed that there needed to be music because they were all adjusting and/or scratching their junk in what seemed like rhythmic waves. One would adjust then shuffle on his feet, then the next, then the next, over and over, almost like the wave at a sporting event. It finally became too much to bear even to watch them.

    As for the facial hair picking, I find myself remembering my truck driver uncle's words of wisdom and wonder if the same holds true in other circumstances. He told me that all truck drivers have facial hair, or at least mustaches (to filter the coffee grounds from truck stop coffee). If you're ever driving down the road and see a trucker playing with his mustache, that means he'd been with a nasty lot lizard and was checking for critters. If you ever saw one without it...he found them. Needless to say, whenever I see someone playing with their mustache I kinda wanna puke a little.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just peed from laughing so damn hard!! It's the Crotch Grab Dance. I can see that being a youtube hit. You should get on that!! lol

      Ewwww!!! That mustache story is NASTY!! Bleh bleh bleh...

      Delete
    2. :-D Yeah, you just watch...you'll never look at truckers the same way again. You're welcome! lol

      Delete
    3. Ohhh ewwwwwwwww!!! You're welcome? My apologies for forgetting to thank you ;) lol

      Delete
  13. pffft.... I don't agree with the last one. I wouldn't mind a bit if anyone would grope me big time within first five seconds of a date..... Did I tell you me is a bit slutty :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ohh, Dez likes to be group?? Hmmm, interesting ;) lol

      Delete
  14. Oh lord... this is hysterical but so true at the same time!

    ReplyDelete
  15. my manly-man role model was the original Himself, He-Man. i collected all of the action figures, kept them in their pristine boxes, never opened them up or they lose value...why, just last week i named my new dog Cringer...yep, things are looking up for me.

    Jax, are you at the White House or something in your new profile pic? holy **** you're hot! :) that reminds me, HuffPo keeps telling me everyday to "Reclaim 2012"...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ohh He-Man? He could work...I mean...do use He-Man as a means of describing the lovely Gerard Butler ;) lol A new dog? What kind? That's awesome!

      Yes, I was at the White House in that picture! Hot? Oh, come now, you're making me blush ;) lol

      Delete
  16. His advice on a first meeting would be to maintain eye contact and don't gawp at her boobs. Or possibly the other way around.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm, that could be very possible!!! :) But, if it's vice versa, that would only work for Mr. Butler. lol

      Delete
  17. I would suggest no eye-fucking. Because that makes me want to slap people. Keep your eyes on the girl's face because she WILL notice if they travel south and not be happy about it at all, especially if you're practically (or literally) drooling over her. Girls want to feel pretty, not like a hooker. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ohh, yes it does!!!! I mean, sometimes a stare down is nice when it's mutual...but other times it's like CREEP, I ain't looking back so avert your damn eyeesssss. lol

      Delete
  18. Speaking as a guy, when I did let my facial hair grow out, I did occasionally rub it...kind of a nervous habit....probably the same for other guys with beards/mustaches/sideburns.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol Interesting to hear a man's point of view on it. So it's a nervous thing????

      Delete
  19. Um He's a guy! Can he really give advice of this sort to other guys? No matter how sexy a guy is they still do these things and wonder why we cringe. However should a woman reach down and pull a camel tow out or rearrange a pad they would freak the hell out. (Can you tell I'm on one? If so I apologize for anything I just wrote that offended anyone. Ok no I don't hahah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right? Like hot men think they are excused from these rules!! It's not true!!! I dated a realllyyy sexy Swedish guy, but his personality/language barrier outruled his hotness. I bet he never expect me to break up with him!!! lol

      A woman adjusting her pad??? Eep!!!!!! lol

      Delete
  20. Pet the scruff! Lol
    Is the FF pro or college?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pet the scruff??? Oh my!! lol

      It's pro!

      Delete
  21. Playing with facial hair? That sounds disgusting. I've never dated a guy with facial hair before though so what do I know...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, it is disgusting!! Totally not something that you want to see...like ever!! lol

      Delete
  22. at least some of them have wedgies. I hate when guys go commando and you see a plumbers crack right in front of your face.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMFAO I just busted out laughing. You totally win best comment ;)

      Point noted and I'm in total agreement!! haha

      Delete
  23. I think it is important for men to note that my eyes are up here, not in my cleavage. You aren't wearing sunglasses and I can see where you are looking.

    *Erin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, men are really good at that, ain't they!! I mean, a quick glance is human and understood. But to stand their gawking at a woman's chest is such a damn turn off!!!

      Delete
  24. Yup, wedgie removal and crotch scratching are definite no-no's. And the amount of men who talk to my tits! Arrrgh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Arrrrgghhh is right!!! I got you girl ;) lol

      Delete
  25. LMAO ! dear Im by these days really dissapointed of the men :( so really I dont know what comment but I know is by a while sigh!!unfortunately I love men! You understand? Im angry with some men:(
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ohh, I get you!! Love them and hate them and NEED them at the same time. A girl goes manless too long and they become a hot mess! lol

      Besides, you have a magic power..cooking!!! Men love a good cook ;)

      Delete
    2. Yed msybe they lovr me only by the cook lol
      not others things of them mske me sad:(
      xxxx

      Delete
  26. For sure please look at my face, not at my tatas...I mean, do we stare at their bulges? Well, except for Gerard's, I mean :)

    Also, I never thought about it, but I, too, hate when guys pet their beards. Icky!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO Glad that I could bring the beard petting to your attention!!! Ohh how that irks me. Bleh

      Delete
  27. LOL I'm not the guy to give advice on such stuff. But I'd say don't try to be someone you're not, if you can't act well.

    ReplyDelete
  28. lmao! these are all so funny and true. cute blog girl :)

    www.sultanassanctuary.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
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