Thursday, June 14, 2012

Dating: Grandmother's Advice

Announcement:  R&W will be implementing a summer schedule which will include new posts Monday - Thursday.  Jax will be taking long weekends for the next 3 months.
She's real pale, in need of a serious tan, and craving summer cocktails....

Jax has been single for a whopping 8 months now.
I’ve been on a few dates here and there, but, for the majority of that time I was on a man-cation.
A mancation is a period of time where you swear off any interaction with the opposite sex short of friends.
Well, I’m declaring this mancation over!  I’m ready to get back in the game.

I made this decision a few weeks ago, when I jumped back into the scheme of things real quick.
My eyes are wondering and I’m totally ready to pounce!  Watch out…

I decided that this announcement was so huge, that it was worth a phone call to my grandmother.
She laughed and said “My grandchild.  The one that has the attention span of an ant.”  What gives, Nanny?
Other than her sarcastic comment, she started blurting out various words of wisdom to take to the heart.

10 Great Dating Tips from my Grandmother.
Because no one knows better than Nanny!

1.  Aggressive
Let the boys chase you.  Forget this “hear me roar” nonsense and embrace patience.
It's true that any guy who is genuinely interested will make a significant effort to get your attention.

2.  Eyes & Smile
Learn how to flirt using only your eyes and smile.  Be approachable yet busy.
Makes sense.  Too approachable screams “I’m easy”.  To busy screams “I’m not interested”.

3.  Shoulder Tap
When chatting up a man that you’re interested in, quickly touch his arm or shoulder in conversation.
Men respond to affection.  Got it!  It’s letting them know I’m intrigued without actually having to say it.

4.  Voice Volume
Keep your voice at a decent volume.  Too loud screams aggressive and too soft screams push over.
Nanny says: Ladies don’t yell when they’re angry.  They make their point and then dish the silent treatment.

5.  Confidence
You could be the prettiest girl in the room yet be ignored because of insecurity.  Walk tall and proud.
Confident women usually have a few things going for them, or at least know how to fake it!

6.  Cooking
Always nonchalantly drop hints of your fantastic cooking skills.  Cooking equals wife material.
Everyone always says a man’s stomach is the key to his heart…

7.  Passion
Don’t give it up too easily.  Men like a woman who respect themselves and demand it from others.
Ladies, do the granny panty trick.  You ain’t going to take your pants off if you’re rocking those!

8.  Indirect Demands
Drop hints of how you require chivalry.  Men should open doors and allow you to walk in front of them.
How exactly do you do that nonchalantly?  That will have to be lesson #2.

9.  Schedule
If you like a guy enough to meet up again, don’t be so readily available.  Let him know that you have a life.
Got it!  So create a schedule and then pencil him in.  Easy enough!!

10.  No Exceptions
There are no exceptions to any of your "rules".  Don’t make any excuses, no matter how cute, smart, or rich!
Ohh, you hear that boys???  I can’t let you slide!!  Not even once!

What great advice did your elders pass along to you?

124 comments:

  1. 1. Hi Jax, I'm interested. It must be fate that you posted this today and that I can get an early comment (I usually don't get to post until late in the day).

    Let me take you out on a date.

    And I'll even pretend that I didn't read any of your clues about touching my shoulder and stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL!! Youngman, that's cheating!!! It could be good practice though. I mean, I tried to flirt with my eyes in the mirror and it just looked like I had an awful twitch. hahahaha

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    2. 'Youngman...' - I need that name! Today!

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    3. Youngman RCB. Hmmm...doesn't really have a "ring" to it. How about RCB Man. That sounds a little better ;) lol

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    4. Aw,...go out with Youngman! You know he'll treat you right since you can blog about it here if he doesn't! haha.

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    5. Youngman does seem like a gentleman, don't he?? :)

      Ohh, and don't worry. If he ain't I'm sure that I could think of a great 10 point list. LOL!!

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    6. I totally open doors and stuff.

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  2. 11. Buy a mirror and know you look good.
    P.S. the attention span of an ant? Really?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nanny knows best. Does that mean I really have the attention span of an ant? Sigh...

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  3. My grandma bought me a black g-string last christmas. So I think I'll stay clear from her advice. Your grandmother sounds a lot better!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my!!! My grandma keeps me stocked up in granny panties. hahahaha I like your grandma!! lol

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  4. Your granny is Dr.phil? And you acquired the skill?
    Anyway I am married and can't think about these now, don't judge but doesn't these tricks and pretending takes you far? Why would anyone want to act like a pushover or easy to get someone's attention?!
    As I said I am married I wouldn't know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you misread the entry, Cap. My grandmother was saying, don't pretend to be those things! People need to learn how to control themselves to be a happy medium. No one wants to be around someone who cries all the time or laughs all the time for no reason. You want to be around someone who can balance their emotions.

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    2. Cool. I dont have girl children, I hope I dont give advice to my grandkids. If they take my words looks like I may never date :)

      I wouldnt want any guy to pretend to be rich or smart, or pretend to be something he is not, so wouldnt like to do that as well. But again not popular opinion :)

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    3. Yes, that's what my grandmother was saying don't pretend. People can pretend all that they want, but in the end the true them will come out. It's best just to be real from the beginning.

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  5. the shoulder tap actually works with any other part of their body :) Some even more successful than others :)

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  6. Awesome list. I would agree that men like women who have confidence and self respect. Oh, and cooking is key.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, GC!! Oh, cooking is so important. Forget about men, my tummy likes yummy homecooked meals too ;) lol

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  7. Your grandmother's advice is great, although, some of it has to be inborn knowledge rather than a learned science.

    My grandmothers are very different. One of them advised me not to rush into anything just because my other friends were getting married (I'm the youngest in my group of friends). Incidentally, I'm still single, even though I didn't intend to take her advice.

    The other grandmother matches me up with any random sweet guy she can find. Ten years younger than me and she brushes it aside... ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Lady! Nanny will be flattered with your compliments :)

      That's too funny about both your grandmothers being opposite. It's a good thing because then you get the best of both words.

      Random, sweet men that are 10 years younger than you? Enjoy the date and go get it girl!! hahahahaha

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    2. Lol, you know, I probably would if they lived on the same side of the planet!

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    3. LMAO Girl, get pics because if they are hot enough they would worth the flight ;) I kid, I kid. Maybe...

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    4. Lol.... maybe I should make the request! It wouldn't be hard for the latest one - he's my cousin's husband's brother lol... I'm sure they have a pic handy ;-)

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    5. Girl, get that picture!! I bet you he's a smoking hot young cowboy. Yeee haawww!! hahahahaha

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    6. Haha... Ok, I'm heading over to their photo account to see if I can figure out which one he is ;-)

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    7. Oh well. Couldn't find one lol. Good night!

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    8. Ohh, at least you tried!! Make sure that you keep us all updated. :)

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  8. Make sure he opens your doors, stands when you approach his table, looks you in the eyes, says thank you and no thank you, refers to his elders as sir and ma'am and by all means when you are out with him, TURN OFF YOUR DAMN CELL PHONE! XO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww, Bama, you like quite the gentleman ;)

      and..yes to the cell phone. My phone is always going off!!

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  9. Oh, and pulls your chair out for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ohh, that's never happened to me before! Where are these gentlemen that you speak of? Can you ship a few to NY?

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    2. Guys should take lessons from BamaTrav! He's stylish!

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    3. Right...Bama, want to right a list stating 10 points that all men should follow? You have some fans around here! lol

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    4. Hmmmm....that's a thought and the men I speak of are in the south. It's the way we are raised. Oh, and a man always extends a hand to another man upon introduction, especially the father, and also looks him in the eyes.

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    5. I think it's time I head back to Tx - but BamaTrav, I hope you're right about this being a Southern thing.

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    6. Haha, I am right. Even the kids know to be respectful, at least the one's that are raised the right way.

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    7. @BamaTrav - Lol, ok, well I'll take your word for it! Now let me just check the flight schedule... ;-)

      @Jax - your blog is so much fun!

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    8. @Bama...So, when are you writing that 10 point list?? lol We could call it a Southern Gentlemen teaching the east coast snobs how to treat a lady. I swear, the men here are more needy and worried about their looks than the woman! NY may have created the term "metro".

      @Lady...aww you just made me blush!! Glad that you have fun here :)

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    9. Jax - That's because the men down here are all terrain, they can survive the city or the forest. Then cook their lady a four course meal.

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    10. I'm with Jax, we need the 10 point list!

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    11. Hmmmmmm.....I might not be good at that though. xo

      Delete
  10. Hey Jax, I'm back from your little "town". Had a great time. I've put some pics on my blog and more will follow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ohh, glad that you had a great time!! Did you check out Carmines like I suggested? That place is certainly yum yum ;)

      I'm heading over there to now to peak at the pics.

      Delete
  11. I'm pulling for a Jax and Youngman date!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You guys just want to hear the dirt ;) lol I think that's 3 votes and I didn't even scroll to the end yet!!

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    2. Four because you had my silent vote the whole time lol.... I was gleeful when I read his request!

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    3. Four?? Oh my!! He's going to come back to a whole cheerleading squad! lol

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    4. Lol, that's the idea! I think I better go send him a Tweet lol

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    5. LMAO Oh boy...I'm off to Twitter...

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  12. Smart grandma! And she sounds so cute, too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, my Nanny is really cute!! We love her!

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  13. Your grandmas advice sounds great! I hope it works for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Beserc. She's good like that ;)

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  14. I tune out anything my elders tell me about dating. They made and keep making terrible choices, so they should be coming to me for advice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But maybe their terrible choices is what makes their advice so great. People learn from mistakes more than they learn from being perfect.

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  15. Nowhere in grandma's rules did I see, "Ignore a cute date invite from Youngman Brown." You're totally dropping the ball kiddo. :)

    I like the touch on the arm thing. The "I know how to cook so I'm marriage material one" made me cringe a little, as it seems a little ancient. That being said, I talk about my mad cooking skills to any man who will listen.

    I am extremely busy but I fit men in if I want to. I always tell people, "If you want to hang out with someone, you will make the time."

    Now, go on a date with Youngman and make Melanie proud. Haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ohh, the cooking thing is ancient, but we're Italian. We live to eat!! I can't imagine my brother dating a girl that can't cook. He'd be at poor Nanny's house every stinking night!! lol

      I wouldn't want to disappoint Melanie ;) I'll make you proud!!! hahaha

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  16. Indirect demands are good, but not direct demands. I once dated a girl who said, "You WILL open the car door for me. I require that of all boyfriends." And I'd forget, and she'd stand by the car door tapping her foot saying angrily, "I'm waiting." Let's just say she's probably still waiting because I never called her demanding ass back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you serious right now? That woman doesn't sound very "friendly" to say the least. LOL I would have left her standing there too. There's a difference between being treated like a lady and acting like a snob!

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  17. Your grandmother is a wise lady. I think her advice about aggressiveness and no expectations is RIGHT ON. Now go hunting!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes she is!! Thanks Rooth :) I'm hunting!!

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  18. I think your grandmother is absolutely nice, like my mom!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...but my nanny is in love with Keanu Reeves!! She thinks IT. lol Clooney and Reeves double date? Ohh, that would be great ;) lol

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    2. I think a. Double date would be a lovely idea:)lol

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    3. Yes, yes, yes!! Can we chaperone? I'd love to meet both of them!

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  19. Would it be possible for a man to take a mancation? Meaning I need a break from my shitty life!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, dan, that's not possible!! You just need a regular vacation ;)

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  20. Oh Nanny has GREAT advice. I love the Granny Panty rule though I usually went with the don't shave your leg rule bc I am obsessed with shaving my legs and am even embarassed if I don't when only I know!

    Love the arm touching one, definitely works.


    AND YES about the no exceptions. that's a good one to throw in because I think we all get caught up, forget to do important things and find ourselves back at square one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, my Nanny has great advice :) She's just great herself!! lol It's funny what things out grandparents can pass on to us.

      Yes, I like the arm touching one too!! My problem is that I'm always touching people's arms and not even noticing it. hahahaha

      I'm famous for giving exceptions when they shouldn't be granted. Kudos to Nanny for pointing that one out. lol It's almost like she knows me...

      Delete
  21. Your grandmother has some really good advice. My momma told me a lot of the same stuff when I was like twelve (even though I wasn't even allowed to date! lol).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, she does have some awesome advice!! Your momma sounds just as awesome ;)

      Delete
  22. Sounds like some rules to live by indeed, but then if rich comes into play hmmm they could be bendable, in a none body moving kind of way of course..haha And confidence and cocky or stuck up has a fine line too, as well as just being demanding from the get go, always has to be a balance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, no no Pat!! Rich doesn't even count as an excuse. Money can't buy happiness. Just a reall nice house...

      I'm with you on too confident. When men are too cocky it makes me gag. Such a turn off.

      Delete
  23. I have a problem with "voice volume". I'm naturally loud and if I'm nervous I tend to be even louder...happy makes me even louder!! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too, Elsie. I yell everything. In fact, I think I'm whispering, but I'm actually yelling! It's awful ;)

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    2. I wondered where you were today, girl!!! Enjoy your long weekend!!!

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    3. I'm here, I'm here!! I just decided to join the summer Thursday night festivities. ;)

      Delete
  24. Love this! Definitely let him chase you :) It's worth it when then one comes along!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, the chasing is the best part!! hahaha I find "the chase" to be so fun ;)

      Delete
  25. Acting like you're busy slash playing hard to get always works

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes it does!! That's one thing that I'm great at considering that I always am very busy. hahaha

      Delete
  26. I'm on a woman-cation now but those sound like some good tips for either gender. I think your grandma was spot on with #2, 4 and 9 especially. #2, Always nice to see the girl is smiling and approachable. #4, The voice, oh god the voice... I get headaches just hearing my ex's loud voice in my head LOL. #9 is always good, not very attractive if the girl is desperate or has nothing going on. Good luck, I think Pat Hatt is single hmm maybe I don't know ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Matt!! I love hearing the guys point of views on these things. Maybe I should do a top ten dating advice from my grandfather. It would probably be something along the lines of "go to church and stay there". hahahaha

      Ok, so focus on 2, 4, and 9? Got it!! I fail on the loud voice. I can be very loud. Guess that's something that I should totally work on?? lol

      Oh, please don't get me in trouble with that cat again!! hahaha

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    2. LOL I bet your grandfather would say that. I think you should just be yourself! Oh don't worry I doubt the cat will read this LOL.

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    3. LOL He would definitely say that. I'm going to ask him tonight. Yesterday I hit him with "You're the one that met Desi Arnaz, right?" He gave me such a dumb look that I couldn't bare to ask another question. lol!!

      The cat reads all...

      Delete
  27. Wow, those are great! My favorite is number ten, because generally if you feel the need to make an exception, it is a great warning sign that your hormones are trying to overrule your common sense. Been there, done that and don't want to do it again. I'm following your nanny's advice from now on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks!! Oh, I'm infamous for nitpicking at the "good" guys and then letting all sorts of things slide with the ones that don't deserve it. #10 is the one that she emphasized the most!! lol

      Delete
  28. You get an insane amount of comments for a reason. The best piece of advice a Bubby ever gave was "If you want to catch the wild monkey, you have to climb the tree." (Crossing Delancy)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Cal! That makes sense too. I'll take Bubby's advice too ;)

      Delete
  29. Good list, inside info is always handy

    I open doors and stuff for my girlfriend

    Rule 10 is the best NO EXCEPTIONS! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Rusty!! Inside info is where it's at right now! hahaha

      What a gentleman :)

      ...and I listened to the whole podcast. Great stuff!!! Cracking up!!

      Delete
  30. hey, you! this is an awesome dating advice. :) hope you're well, and have a great wknd!!
    xoxo
    jasmine
    AdamAlexMommy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Jasmine. You do the same!! xo

      Delete
  31. Hard to say. I think girls who play hard to get can get a guy to focus more attention and effort into them.

    But do it too much and they assume you're actually not interested and they just move on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed!! Too much of a hard to get turns into "impossible" to get. hahahaha

      Delete
  32. haha enjoy your long weekends, I might do the same~!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Caitlin! It was so relaxing on Thursday night to go out and not have to worry about. Just for the summer though ;)

      Delete
  33. Already 104 comments and I have only not read your blog for less than a day?? Sheesh...miss a little miss a lot! You should make up a list of these rules for men too. But I am learning a lot from these anyway. It's kind of confuzzling... Isn't a girl acting like she is busy and unavailable also what she does when she isn't interested?? How is one to know the difference. But what I gather from these rules is, that if a guy is too timid, he might as well join the Forever Alone for Life Support Group... because even if a girl does like you, your lack of assertiveness will do you in. Anyway, maybe you won't respond to this for awhile since it's Friday which begins the weekend...

    P.S. Thanks for the mentions at twitter. I am not really hip to the twitter lingo since I am not there very much, so forgive me if I do not respond appropriately.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol Got to keep up on it ;) lol

      I can make a list for men. You know how I love me some lists ;) I'll post it soon.

      LOL Yes, I can see how that would be confusing. But, there's a difference b/w hard to get and not interested. No interested is telling you flat out or avoiding you at all costs. Playing hard to get is leaving the opportunity open, but not biting the bait right away.

      Delete
  34. Pffft sun? My computer is toast and my arm is screwed and I still post. Pffffft, pffft, pffft, just pfffft..LOL

    ReplyDelete
  35. Related to my grandmother for advice if you tell me the date probably would not say positively, then?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sorry, but I don't understand the question. Can you please re-word that?

      Delete
  36. Awesome tips, the old grow wise. Me being a man, a lot of these tips work well

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  37. I agree with your grandmother about the chivalry thing. I'm always confused by women who don't want a door opened for them. It's not degrading, it's just everyone knowing what they're supposed to do in a certain situation.

    ReplyDelete
  38. some very wise words :)
    Enjoy your long weekends...

    ReplyDelete
  39. your grandma is like a golden interview. you make it very fun.

    ReplyDelete
  40. She sounds like she's been around the block a few times. But I think if you want to find out how to attact boys, you should ask a boy. No one knows better than them.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Great advice! I think the best thing I've been taught is to respect yourself and know you're deserving of being treated correctly.

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  42. Good for you for getting back into the dating game Jax! You're going to have fun! And good for you for taking a blog break. You need that extra time.
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

    ReplyDelete

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