Friday, May 11, 2012

Chivalry: Opening The Door

Holy season finales!!!!!!!!!!!
Who watched Vampire Diaries and The Secret Circle last night?
If not, I envy you because you can watch them all new for the first time!!!

I cried more than usual while I watched these shows.  Juicy and smoking hot is an understatement!!
In honor of a whole 4 months without any VD or TSC, here are the 2 men that make my Thursday nights sizzle.  Are you high yet?  I am!  Yum...





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A few days ago, a few of my friends were discussing the act of a man opening the door for a lady.

Buddy says that he doesn't open for strangers anymore because the ladies don't say thank you.
Neighbor says that a man doesn't respect women if he doesn't open the door.
Tab always opens the door for ladies because his mother told him to.
The Viking and Brother always open all doors for me.  Just sayin...

What does Jax think about this act of chivalry?

If you asked me this 3 years ago I would have told you that it's awkward and uncomfortable.  It makes me feel useless and like some dainty little princess.  Why should I stand there motionless while I wait for some man to open a simple door for me that I'm capable of doing myself?
I guess that's how one thinks when they spent their life as one of the boys...

Now I realize that it's an act of respect and a form of chivalry.
I think all men should open doors for women.
Besides, don't you want to give off a great first impression, gentlemen??

What do you think about men opening doors?  Is a chivalrous do or a control freak don't?

87 comments:

  1. I do it from time to time. Automatic doors kinda makes it hard to make it a habit

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    1. LOL Surrreeee...blame the automatic doors!! hahaha I kid, I kid!

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  2. hello dear!!! i'm also a fan of vampire diaries!!!! though episodes are too way late in italy :(

    about men opening doors... well, hubby used to do that when we still dating now he already forgot about that "ouch" hahhaha.. but honestly i also didn't even noticed it until you posted it!!! maybe i also changed.. i don't expect too much from him anymore since we're already married :)

    but I guess every women is different, some likes it some not... its way of showing to be a gentlemen and should be appreciated by women :)

    wish you a lovely weekend!!! take care dear.
    xoxo, Haus of Gala

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I suppose some things change when you get married! That's one thing that I always notice. But the fact that he used to and stil does from time to time is good enough for me. I mean...we are capable of opening a door! (But, shh, don't tell my daddy I said that!)

      Have a great weekend! xo

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  3. hello!
    he is a very handsome! LOL

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  4. hello!
    he is a very handsome! lol

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  5. The act of a man opening a door for a woman was never meant as an insult. The women's movement re-interpreted it that way. It existed in Western culture as a means of elevating a woman, not demeaning her. The women of the 60's and the 70's threw the baby out with the bathwater on a lot of issues. Today women complain about men not showing them respect while we berate them for trying to show us respect. No wonder they're confused.

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    1. Agreed, Anne! Women like my mother don't appreciate when a man does this for them. Besides, growing up, I was always the only girl. I was quickly thought of as one of the boys.

      I remember one time I was getting in my best friends car, when his mom made us all get out. She then told him to open for me and then we could get back in the car! He's done it ever since ;)

      What about Buddy's point? He does it and the women don't even say thank you. He got frustrated and won't do it for stangers now. I'm curious on people's view on that.

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    2. Regarding Buddy's point, I understand why he was put off, but personally I feel that you shouldn't let some rude women determine whether or not you do what you feel in your heart is right. I would advise Buddy to give it another shot or 2 or 3, because believe it or not there are plenty of women out there who will say thank you and truly appreciate the thoughtful gesture. I should know, as I am one of them!

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    3. I'm with you Anne. I think it is sad that so many women have "thrown the baby out with the bath water", as you say. It is really very simple; if you want men to open the door for you, then Don't hand them their head when they do!
      If men have stopped doing little things for women like opening doors, it's because women have taken offense. I'll let all you feminist ladies out there in on a little secret; Men don't really want to offend us. The majority of men want to be respectful, polite, and to be able to show their admiration, but not if they are going to be misunderstood and treated like the enemy.
      Start to believe the best in people and you will bring out the best. Expect the worst and.... I'm sure you see where I am going here. Start to show your gratitude to others by saying, "Thank you",whether they are a man,woman,or child. Everyone deserves to be treated well. Everyone deserves your respect. And it really is just that simple.

      Delete
  6. ian can open my door anytime!!
    omg i criedddddd last night

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    1. You have no idea how hard I cried last night! How dumb is Elena?! Picked the wrong guy! Hmph...

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  7. Like I do with all situations in life, I try to react to men doing this sort of thing with kindness and thanks. I used to get all, "What? I can't open a door myself?" Hi, asshole Melanie!

    So now I smile and say thank you. I appreciate it. I also love when someone holds an elevator door for me.

    My ALL TIME FAVORITE is if I'm dating someone, and they unlock and open my door and let me in before they get in. That is a true sign of a gentleman.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yes, now I stop and think that they are doing it b/c they are polite and not b/c they are a control freak :)

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  8. I tend to open doors for people regardless of gender but that just might be my Canadian upbringing. :P

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    1. So it's a Canada thing? Got it!! hahahaha

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    2. @DWei: LOL! Nope! I do the same; regardless of gender and I'm American. :P

      Delete
  9. I agree with opening the door or holding the door as well, not that I like touching the door mind you..lol...but I still do it. I hold it no matter who is behind me and open them for women.

    I don't care if they thank me or not either, I just do it, guess it is an ocd habit or something..hahaha..or maybe I can be nice, don't tell the cat that though. haha

    ReplyDelete
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    1. LMAO Well, maybe OCD is an exception. hahahaha I guess it is a Canadian thing. LOL

      Yes, Buddy gets very annoying if a lady doesn't say thank you! I can see where he's coming from. It's rude for there to not be a ty, but you can't take it out on the rest of the female population!!! hahahaha

      P.S. I thought there was no secret keeping from the cat? I mean, you did spill the beans about the glam over!!!!!

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    2. Well that was just too good to pass up and besides he squashed you flat for that..haha

      Yeah I do think it is more of a Canadian thing, we are just nicer and hold the door for everyone..hahaha

      I can see why he gets angry too, but there will always be a few rude ones. Just have to deal with them I suppose.

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    3. LOL Squashed flat? I don't think so!! I still have that tutu, cat ;) hahaha

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    4. Good for you Pat! You are a true gentleman! See ladies; they DO exist! :)

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  10. I don't watch the shows but I love what you said "I'm jealous because you get to watch them for the first time", ha- I have always said that about "Friends". I wish I could watch it through virgin eyes since I have every episode memorized.

    I think opening the door for a lady is sweet. I feel like Gentlemen are less and less and it's always so appreciated and noticed when you are meant to feel like a Lady by a guy. I appreciate it so much. with that said, I usually hold doors open for people all the time :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Girl, you have to watch these shows! They don't take any serious brain power by any means, but they are JUICY!!!!!! You'll love them.

      I totally agree with you!

      Delete
  11. i think it´s a DO! but definitely something that you don´t see OFF-EN (yay Viking!)hahaha. back to being serious... i think these days those manners are somewhat lost. with the woman´s role in today´s world and the fact that there´s more gender equality, i think us ladies are seen as kickass powerful individuals and therefore our doors never get open! :(
    does this make sense??
    XO!
    JAnnine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO You just cracked me up with the OFF-EN reference! lol

      Yes, these manners are lost. It's so sad! It's even sadder that us females have been trained to think that it's an insult when they open the door! So glad that the viking taught me different with this one :)

      It makes perfect sense! Have a great weekend!! xo

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    2. you too girl!! i hope it gets sunny and beautiful in NY so you can go out and to something fun in that amazing city! :)

      XO

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    3. Ohh, girl you brought the luck!! Most gorgeous day out yet :)

      Delete
  12. i don't watch this show, and i've never even heard of it. you got me wanting to start the series now. :) the guys are hot! :)

    have a lovely wknd!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ohh, you need to watch them!!! :)

      Delete
  13. Opening any door for me...our home, our car, a restaurant, a store...still makes me swoon when my husband does it and I thank him with words and a smile every single time. I LOVE IT!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Swoon? Oh, I love that!! Yes, the sweet ty is just as important as the opening of the door! Have a great weekend!

      Delete
  14. i may actually have to start watching these shows...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Here in the south we do crazy things like send our children to cotillion classes to learn manners. I'm a transplanted Yankee so I really don't understand all that junk, but I follow the rules. So both my sons attended cotillion. My 16 year old went to Philly last year for a leadership academy and he opened doors for girls and they looked at him like he had 3 heads. He also answered "yes ma'am and "no sir" when addressing adults. The other kids ridiculed him for being a country hick for using his manners.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that's great!! Your sons are going to have all the ladies swooning with the gentlemanly demenour ;)

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  16. Jax, I am grateful I have your blog to defer to in all these matters. I am learning a lot. You will turn me into a refined member of polite society sooner or later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO I'm glad to see that I'm somewhat useful. That makes me feel good. hahaha

      Delete
  17. mmm Ian Somerhalder.... I think he stole my woollen cape....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ohh, so let's go fight him so we can have it back! I wouldn't mind wrestling him... :D

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    2. we shall strip him dearly :)

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    3. Ohh, so yum!! Do you watch Vampire Diaires? You should! He's constantly walking out of showers butt naked and sopping wet ;)

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    4. nope, sisters, I have a rule of not watching vampire shows, teen shows, crime procedurals, forensic shows, most legal shows.... which leaves me only with epic and fantasy and occasional unique drama like UNITED STATES OF TARA, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, NIP TUCK....

      Delete
  18. My husband always holds the door open for me...he even goes around and gets the car door for me and taught my boys to do the same for me and their girlfriends.

    I still forget from time to time and get the door before he gets it for me. =P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too cute, Elsie! It's rare to find a guy that always opens the door for you! Especially in NY! Everyone's in such a damn rush all the time...It's every man for themselves over here. lol

      Delete
  19. Why wouldnt any guy open the door for a lady and wait?
    It is license to check out a woman, slow
    Same way like feet-fetish offer to paint nails.
    But anyway, if their gentleman weiner dont stand up, that is not non-chivalry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO Cap, you hit the nail on the head! If I was giving out an award for the best comment, you would win!!

      Bravo, bravo!!

      Delete
    2. Best comment award? Thank you :)
      So, you arent the right door to knock for a hate post? Or should I say something bad about your 28 shampoo bottles to get one post from you?

      Delete
    3. LOL I'm not much of a hater :) I'd be real bad at that! lol

      hahaha What's wrong with my 28 bottles of shampoo? Sounds like your jealous!!!

      Delete
  20. My boyfriend doesn't really but that actually makes me happy... he's so chivalrous in so many other ways and the buck has to stop SOMEWHERE.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adorable that your boy is chivarlous :)

      Delete
  21. When I was young, 1000 years ago, I felt the same way you did. I didn't want a guy to open a door for me! How stupid. Then I realized something. It's a form of courtesy and there is not enough of that in the world today as it is. Now I do like it. My hubs opens doors for me as do my boys. I have taught them to hold doors for ladies, give flowers just because, and all the other old fashioned values. Why? Because someone should teach children courtesy and I truly believe that one day those boys will make very good husbands and boyfriends for someone because I have taught them to be gentlemen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's so awesome that you're teaching your sons to do that!! :) Gentlemen are real hard to come by! You already know that I think your husband is great!! Hope you're having a great weekend!!

      Delete
  22. I always open the door for women, no matter who they are.

    I also pull out the chair for them but it is somewhat awkward sometimes with the whole pushing it in for them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Youngman Brown is more like Gentleman Brown. :)

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete
  24. I'm kind of a control freak and it still weirds me out when guys do. But I've learned to be appreciative

    ReplyDelete
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    1. :) Glad you learned! It took me a little while too!

      Delete
  25. Off topic: sssshhhh - my husband watches Vampire Diaries and watched it this morning and loved how it ended =P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your hubby watches VD? Ohh, I love that!!!!!! So you watched the ending of this season or something else? Girl, we gotta talk bout this!!!!

      P.S. How hot is Damon? Yum!! and Stefan just needs to go away already...Just sayin... ;)

      Delete
  26. In the south, men open the doors for women. It's the right thing to do in case the establishment is being robbed at gunpoint because you can hear her scream before you enter. LOL.

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    Replies
    1. LOL How very gentlemanly of you!!

      Delete
  27. I open doors for gentlemen and ladies alike. If they DON'T nod, smile, or say thank you, I say you're welcome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love that you say YW. Someone needs to call out the rude people ;)

      Delete
  28. I open doors for everyone...it's just a nice thing to do.

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  29. I thought back to just hours ago when I held the door for a lady, and six dudes cut in line. Jack-flappers, every one of them!

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  30. I always hold the door open for my girlfriend. I can't always hold the car door open for her though, since she beats me to it most the time, haha.

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    1. LOL Yes, we walk quick ;) hahaha The gesture is there though and that's what matters!

      Delete
  31. it's a nice gesture. but i don't think one has to open every door for a woman. if he's in position, do it. if she hits the door first, well, that's okay, too. but when in position, it's nice to open the door for anyone else, especially the elderly. a little common courtesy is very attractive quality. i unlock the car door for my girlfriend or mother, but don't swing it open.

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    1. I totally agree! So awkward when girls just stand there and wait for it like they are incapable. As long as the thought is there, that's all that matters!

      Hope you had a lovely weekend :)

      Delete
  32. I tried to get into The Secret Circle but I'm still out of the loop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, it's soo good!!!! Watch it from the start :)

      Delete
  33. I appreciate it and I always say thank you!

    You have to feel for the men, though. If they do it, they don't know if it was be appreciated or if they have insulted a woman.

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    1. Thank you is so important! I don't get people when they are rude like that! I get you. The men are at a disadvantage with that.

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  34. oh it is a necessary attribute. I am all for a strong woman, but I also like to be taken care of and a man should do those little things. :)

    xoxo,
    TM

    taylormorgandesign.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Couldn't agree with you more!! Strong women treated right by gentlemen is the way to go :)

      Delete
  35. I gave up my seat to a woman once with loads of shopping bags, she didn't mind, but she wanted to be sure i was not moving because she was a woman but because she was struggling with all those bags. We all want equality, but maybe we want those we care about to remember that little things make a difference. How many girls would not mind if a handsome man gave up his seat for them?.What if it was a older guy, or some pervert who then loomed over you the entire journey trying to chat you up.
    I was in a realtionship with someone from a very male dominated country and she could not credit when i did things for her,because men don't do that over there. I don't know...one mans wine is another mans poison.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I don't mind opening doors for anyone else or letting a guy pass through the door first, I also don't mind who opens the door for me, I always say thank you, but anyone who has forgotten their manners needs a quick slap though.
    A friend of mine is currently working in the city (Canary Wharf) a place in abundance of guys in suits, most of whom have forgotten their manners or simply think that anyone who doesn't wear a pinstriped suit isn't important enough for their thank you's... so wrong!
    Anyhoos, I still love being taken care of by a guy though.
    x.o.x.o

    ReplyDelete

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