Wednesday, May 2, 2012

AvengersWeek: 10 Worst Movies Of All Time

As you all remember from yesterday's post, I've deemed this week The Avenger's Week!
There are officially only THREE days until this movie comes out!!  Eep!!

After yesterday's posting of my favorite movies of all time, I thought today's post was appropriate!
You can't talk about the best without discussing the worst.

The Top 10 Worst Movies of All Time According to Jax

10.  Inception
This movie left me seriously confused and awkward.  Not to mention the ache in my neck from having to tilt it the entire movie while going "huh?".  The only redeeming quality was Leonardo!!
I'll give serious props to anyone who could explain this lovely flick!

9.  The Singing Detective
Please people...for the love of God, don't tell Robert Downey Jr. about this!!!
This movie was so deranged that it gave me nightmares for weeks!!!
The only time I play the DVD now is when I want a "wtf" reaction from unsuspecting people.

8.  Cabin in the Woods
I know this one is still in the theaters, but it was just that dumb that it had to be listed.
The plot of this story was ridiculous.  The acting was awful.  It was just a bunch of excuses to show blood!
Chris Hemsworth did have a few topless scenes.  Actually, I think I'll buy the DVD...

7.  The Happening
While this movie had a great cast, the story line fell completely flat.
Anyone else giggle at Mark Wahlberg talking to fake plants???

6.  Meet Joe Black
Even the movie guru himself, Pat Hatt, couldn't explain this one to me!!
I can't even comment on this movie because it was so incredibly dumb and confusing that I have no clue what was going on.  Figures that Brad Pitt was starring in it...

5.  Fantastic Four
This is one of the few superhero movies that I just couldn't get into.
Besides, that stretchy man makes me want to gag!

4.  Leprechaun
Sis told me that I HAD to see this movie.  She even went as far as to bring it over my apartment so we could watch it together and have a girl's night.  Talk about dumb!
The only horror about this scary movie was the amount of minutes it took to end!

3.  Spiderman
The fact that Toby Maguire irks me to irrational points of irkism doesn't help this movie's case!
This movie does nothing to make Spiderman appear to be an enticing superhero.  The plot was awful and the casting was even worse.  The lovely James Franco couldn't even save it...

2.  Summer With the Ghosts
Never heard of it?  My point exactly...
Talk about dumb movie.  Watch it if you just want to laugh at how silly a movie could be!

1.  Braveheart
Ok, listen before you all attack me!!!
This movie is Madre's favorite.  She's forced me to sit through it so many stinking times that even hearing the name "Braveheart" makes me want to scream.  She talks about the characters like she knows them.  She even makes references to this movie at very inappropriate times.  I'm not exaggerating when I say, I hate it!

What do you think are the worst movies of all time?


  1. Wow! I have turned so many off and walked away from the TV to count. I honestly at this point in time will have to go with The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Only because I couldn't get through it once there were rape scenes involved. I didn't read the books and it made my stomach sick.

    1. LOL I never saw that...My daddy did and he described it as "painfully long". hahaha Maybe I'll skip it...

  2. Ha! I don't think 10, 6, or 3 were that bad. Though Spiderman3 was horrendous.

    1. Really???? I never saw Spider Man 3. I refused after the horrible first one! lol

  3. More movies, such fun.

    Well I've seen them all but Cabin in the Woods and whatever number 2 is, I have never heard of that. Sounds like I'm better off for it.

    Meet Joe Black was just tooo dumb to even want to explain, plus it doesn't help I barely paid any attention to the thing as it was on.

    Sadly I've sat through Leprechaun 1,2 and 3. They get worse as they go along. I haven't seen Leprechaun 4 or 5 or whatever, the one where he's in space..haha...Critters is what you should watch, beats Leprechaun.

    Braveheart is a really good movie, but having to watch any movie a bazillion times can make it intolerable easy..haha

    Inception was okay but nothing great. Basically they were just dream walking, time is different there, they can live out years and such. So they go in to try and mess with a guys head and all end up dead. The singing detective I liked though as it is just messed up hahaha Fantastic Four was AWFUL. Only worse one was that first Hulk movie. And yeah Spiderman was dumb, was nowhere near the spiderman of the shows and comics, too whiny and taking his mask off in number two, STUPID!

    As far as bad movies go:

    The Fountain
    Game 6
    AVP 2
    Blade 3
    X-men 3
    Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
    The Haunted Mansion
    Highlander 2
    Indiana Jones 4
    The Island
    The Net 2.0
    The New World
    The Puppet Masters
    Silent Hill

    Any of those ones are shown, be somewhere else. You can't even get a good nap as they'd give you nightmares. Sooo Bad!

    1. Cat knows me will kill him, and torture him first, for constantly calling THE FOUNTAIN a bad film! Ebil, ebil, feline monster!

    2. @Pat...#2 is a movie that I got for my mom one holiday for 50 cents. LOL It was AWFUL. You should watch it just to say what the hell was that?! Google it to see what torture it was to sit through. LOL!!!!!!

      I liked X-Men 3 and I love Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!!!!! I have not seen the rest.

    3. I will have to watch this movie and settle the debate. Clearly my taste in moves is impeccable ;) lol

    4. @Pat...I really, really, really think they LIVED at the end of Inception!!!!! lol

    5. How can you like that dreadful remake? lol it's worse than spice world and ROH of where ever combined. Original Oompa Loompa's can't be beat. X-men 3 I can see liking at least as it had Beast and it was watchable.

      No, The Fountain is awful, very very bad. Of course knowing you, you'd like it. Charlie and the chocolate factory, I don't know if I can let that one go...LMAO

      haha I looked number 2 up, it has a dog on the cover at least and imdb has a good review of it haha but I'll trust you over those. I've seen enough torture though, just watch the fountain or the new world or that dreadful nirvana thing and you will be tortured even more.

      Whoever was alive at the end of Inception lived, I agree. But those that died in the process are toast.

    6. I loved it!! I thought that Johnny Depp did a great job! Hmph!! There's nothing wrong with Spice World!! Actually..I rocked out to Spice Up Your Life this morning :P

      LOL I will check out the fountain and settle it once and for all!!!!

      LMAO They gave it a good review? I told Madre that just now and she said that I'm a "sick bitch" which was quickly followed by "that was a great gift, you ass." hahahahahahaha That could give you a great idea of how amazing that film was. LOL

    7. hahaha well I will watch Spice World over that stinkin remake any day of the week.

      Be prepare to turn your head with a lot of wtf moments and the want to smash the movie to bits, sooo bad.

      LMAO oh I just laughed a good while over that..hahahaha...she holds nothing back from you with your crummy gifts. But as long as it was from the heart it shouldn't matter right?..LOL..I will avoid that one at all costs.

  4. The worst films ever shot are THE DARK KNIGHT, TWILIGHT, I'M NOT THERE, MULLHOLAND DRIVE, BLACK DAHLIA, and most of the super hero flicks....

    1. @Dez-I'm in complete agreement with Twilight - I hated the first one and refused to sit through any of the rest. My poor tween daughter has been deprived until they came out on DVD.

      I've never heard of The Fountain.

      @Cat - I read your comment from're trying to lure me into your kitty litter and get me into trouble with the alliance - I won't be fooled!!!! (Even though we have the same rockin' tastes in movies!)

    2. I will have to repeat the post on my fave films one of these days, ELsie. You would love THE FOUNTAIN, it's with Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz, amazing one!
      Elsie, since Annzie and me won't be around next two days, you and Jaxy have to fight for the Alliance till the end of the week :) We're passing the sacred duty of the cat annihilation onto your hands, sisters :)

    3. Ohhh, I loved The Dark Knight!!!! Such a great movie.

      I never saw any of the others. Not even Twilight. I'm not a huge fan of "vampire" flicks, so I strayed away. Besides, that actor doesn't really do it for me ;)

      @Dez...I will do anything to make Anne feel better about her absense. Even if that means being a disloyal minion!!!!! lol

    4. minion schminion, do you want to live forever on the cat's sardines? Lead the army in our absence and Annzie will appoint you as our general.

    5. Pffft I can see wanting to make Anne feel better. So I will forgive such a thing of my minion. But the cat treats one better than any Alliance, they are just so fake.

      Yes Twilight, ewwwww in every way. HATE vampires, besides Buffy of course.

      And The Fountain, awful movie, rather gauge my eyes out with Anne's grapfruit spoon than watch that ever again.

    6. General!!!! Ohh, that sounds GREAT!!!!! Count me in :)

      What's your counter offer, cat? And I don't like pringle cans full of poo...

      P.S. Anne has a grapefruit spoon???? Oh that's GENIUS!!!! So hard to eat those suckers...LOL

    7. You want to be General? I thought you wanted to be something special like a rhyming cat's minion? If you just want to be a general person, go with the crummy

      The cat will give you a pringle can full of blueberries, or bananas or grapes, how is that?

      Yeah she goes on about gauging her eyes out with it all the time.

  5. I actually haven't seen most of the ones you mentioned and I'm not dying to see the others, so good picks for the worst movies.

    1. LOL Consider that a good thing :)

  6. Ugh! Meet Joe Black! The only reason I could sit through it was because Brad Pitt was still so blonde and pretty. And Braveheart... it's great and all, but by the end it was dragging on... I was like, just go ahead and execute him and get it over with!

    1. LOL Brad Pitt is pretty? Bleh!! The only time I was remotely attracted to him was in Legends of the Fall. His manly, psycho version was so much more attractive than his "pretty" self. LOL

      LOL Sooo agree with Braveheart!! He dies at the end every single stinking time!! Why must we watch that more than once??? lol

  7. One of your favorites is one of worst - O Brother Where Art Thou...I just don't "get it".

    Cloverfield - all that hype and for what? Grrrr

    Lord of the Rings - Hang on!! It was good once..even twice...but when the kids decide it's marathon time...again...I'm out.

    And, sorry but, I don't like Harry Potter. I know...everyone loves it. I just couldn't get into it either.

    1. Oh, Cloverfield made me want to puke!! That movie shook so much that it was worse than a ride!

      Lord of the Rings I loved!!!! I could watch it over and over again ;) lol

      Ohhh, Harry Potter is amazing!!! The movies were awful, but the books were so good :)

    2. I never read the Harry Potter books so I think the movies are good..haha...Lord of the Rings was awesome too, cloverfield never watched because of the screen thing.

    3. The movies were awful compared to the books!! Although, I will admit that I cried during the last one and the first two were pretty good!

  8. Look up troll 2 its far worse than any on this list. Its about goblins (not trolls) That are vegetarians so they turn people into plants and devour them

    1. LMAO I just cracked up reading your description...LOL

  9. Replies
    1. You just had quite a good list

  10. Great topic Jax. I am surprised to see Braveheart at #1 on your list, but I think it is hilarious--I am sure their fan club will troll your blog now.

    Though I don't get to watch too many non-kid movies (thanks to the little ones here), I have to agree with Pat that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was dreadful. Also, any movie with Adam Sandler is always disappointing. It is like they take the funniest clips to make the preview and then that is it for the rest of it.

    1. LOL You think? Well, I'll tell their fan club what I think of that movie no problem!! Then, maybe, get a signature for Madre. LOL

      I love Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. And I think Adam Sandler is hilarious!!! His Meet the Zohan movie was great!!

    2. You like that Johny Depp thing? Ummm are lost there for sure. Damn remakes. Original is the best.

    3. LOL The original was better...but I enjoyed the remake!! How about the alice and wonderland remake with Mr. Depp as the mad hatter?? Oh, I loved that one too!!! :)

    4. I never watched Alice in Wonderland because of how bad I found Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. At least you agree the original is better, that won't make you lose points..haha...Depp is hit or miss with me though, only one I really likes him in was the first Pirates movie, least that I can recall at the moment.

    5. What about Cry Baby? Oh, I really really REALLY loved that movie!!!!!

  11. I am with you on Inception. I was so not impressed with that movie. But it may be because of my deep-seeded hatred of Midgetardo DiCaprio.

    1. Oh Inception was God awful...Bleh!!!! Midgetardo...LMAO Only you girl....LOL

  12. None of these are as bad as Cabin Fever, just sayin'. ;-)

    1. What is Cabin Fever?! lol

    2. There are two Cabin Fever movies. Both reek to high heaven.

    3. Making a third too I think. And yep BAD!

    4. What are they?!?!?!?!

    5. It'd be better to just film a pile of cash burning than it would to drag this dull stuff back up.

    6. Isn't the title self explanatory? People go to a Cabin and catch a fever, they die, the

      Yeah very true, they should just give the cash to use and be done with it.

  13. Am I an oddball? I would like to swap your best list as worst list and worst as best.
    Inception - really? really? I almost threw chair into my TV when it didnt win Oscar. Braveheart? Oh my! Jax, why would you do this to me? why would you do this? I gotto stalk you for a while and remove the screw from your chair. Big mistake. Big mistake.

    And Inception - check out my review

    1. Really???? I don't approve of that!!!! lol

      Inception was AWFUL!!! Braveheart haunts my nightmares!!!!

      Put the screw driver down...I don't want to fall on my butt when I go to sit :'(

  14. Why Zookeeper isnt in your list or any of Adam Sandler ones for that matter?

    1. What is Zookeeper??? And I like Adam Sandler's movie that I saw...They are classics!! How many times in your life have you quoted Billy Madison? Only, like, a million!!

      "Stop looking at me swan!!"

    2. Zookeeper looks like crap so yeah it was avoided by me. A lot of Adam Sandler's recent ones have been pretty crappy. That drag one just looked horrible. But yeah Billy Madision and Happy Gilmore were awesome.

      "You will not make this put, you jack umm bum"

    3. LOL I like Adam Sandler's stupid funny movies!! Although, I haven't really seen his new flicks. I did see Bed Time Stories and I loved it!! lol

    4. I like many of his Bed Time Stories is one I've yet to watch, I liked Click and the Chuck and Larry one. But that drag one just looks sooo bad. And that Grown Ups one wasn't even a movie, it was an episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway, they didn't even have much of a script, not saying it was awful but still not much of a movie.

    5. Hey you both,
      your guy is expected to sweep Razzies, how do you feel about that?

  15. 1988 - The Accidental Tourist. I was in college and became close friends with a hottie in some of my classes. She was engaged to a guy out of town. She surprised me with a call on Valentines night asking if I wanted to go out and "Play"..... hot damn!!! We hadn't even been close enough to call each other on the phone yet, and she is asking this?

    Long story short, this was the movie we saw, left early, dropped her off at her place and went home because it put both of us to sleep. What a buzz kill.

    1. LOL I never saw the movie, but now I know a perfect way to buzzkill a date!! lol

  16. Jax I dont see all these movies but Meet Joe black really I dont like:(
    and Im agree in someones Pat said:)

  17. Wha...? I can see why some of these are on the list, but Inception and Braveheart, and Meet Joe Black? AND Pitt insults? Tsk tsk Jax, we can no longer be friends...


    1. I'm sorry, Mike!! Please forgive me!!

      P.S. I refuse to take back any Pitt insults. Hmph...

  18. Drowning Mona...ive blocked everything about it out

    1. Drowning Mona? Oh my!! It sounds awful. LOL

  19. Thanks for saving me some time! I love your list.

  20. ok i'm abit shy to say this.. but i haven't seen movies for ages, i mean since my baby was born! i actually forgot was the last movie I saw!!
    but sweetie... Braveheart.. oh no...its my favourite!!! LOL

    take care. xoxo,M

    1. Braveheart??? Oh, you traitor!!! hahahahaha

  21. I always thought Spiderman was super overrated. It seemed like Saturday morning cartoon sort of stuff in my opinion. Even with the huge budget it looked kinda fake to me. And I think the reason some of Mel Gibson's movies get good reviews from the critics is because they are so violent. They mistake shocking violence for intense, riveting film making. Take away all the shocking gore, the guy really doesn't have much to say.

    1. Oh Spiderman is AWFUL. Bleh!!!!!

      Mel Gibson's whole career is based on overly violent films, being overly violent in real life, and DUMB story lines. Just saying... LOL

      This is a GREAT comment :) haha

    2. Pffft you can't beat Lethal Weapon, he can be violent all he wants in those. When you have things like Danny Glover getting a bomb on under his toilet it can't be beat..haha

      But yeah his career is pretty much violence over and over again. But he is funny in the Lethal Weapon ones which is what helps make them so good.

  22. Inception Explanation: A dream within a dream within a very badly written script.

    Meet Joe Black Explanation: A ghost within a ghost within a very badly written script.

    Although you hate HaveBreart(I misspelled it on purpose, to not draw your ire), it is great motivation for you to post these bad movies. So I thank Madre for loving it so.

    1. LOL HaveBreat? Oh, I love that!!! What an AWFUL movie. hahahahahaha

      Thanking Madre? Oh, I won't tell her that one!! haha

    2. Haha! Nono,Jax, you're misspelling my misspelling.

      It's 'HaveBreart' rhymes with this movie smells like fart.

      You can sure tell Madre that one, right?

  23. I missed this post yesterday because I thought it was the "best movies" one!

    Good list here- I did like Inception (Leo- hamada, hamada). I do have a love/hate relationship with endings that make the viewer guess. Awesome that it's up to us but then again I want a definitive answer about what happened!!! Did you see Shutter Island? I was surprised how similar their characters were- haunted by their wives.

    I never saw "Meet Joe Black" but I only avoided it because I heard what you said- it sounds really dull.

    Um... worst movies in my opinion (and off the top of my head) are:

    -Failure to Launch: this is arguably the worst movie I have ever seen in my life, no joke. It was SO predictable, dumb, cliche, idiotic... oh man, I hated it.

    -2001: A Space Odyssey: My Dad used to watch this allllllllllllll the time growing up, oh many- I hate!

    -"For the Love of the Game": dumb.

    -"Sex & the City 2"- I will admit that I enjoy watching this movie but it's a horrible movie. They become like cartoons in it, it's racist, it's devoid of sentiment and rather focuses a lot on "stuff"- like the fact that the conclusion of the movie hovered around the fact that they needed to make sure they didn't fly Coach. And I just don't get why they made a movie in the middle east and depicted the stereotypes we all know- if you don't have to, why do it? It's pretty bad. I was really disappointed. And I wanted Aidan to reject Carrie this time!! He was overdue for some dignity with her.

  24. I take it none of you have seen Manos, the Hands of Fate.So bad it has to be seen to be believed.

  25. Wow, Inception is one of my favorite movies of all time.

    I would be happy to sit down and explain to you its awesomeness point by point.

    I agree with everything else, though. Except Braveheart... but I understand where you are coming from.

    Inception and Braveheart are two of my top 10 soundtracks too.

  26. i´ve only seen 4 of the movies listed here... so i can´t really comment much on your thoughts. i liked braveheart, yet i think i´d come to hate it if my mom made me watch it so repeatedly! now i differ on spiderman... loved the geeky side of Tobey! and Kirsten Dunst is one of my fave actresses so i have to say it´s on my approved list! I can´t really think of crappy movies because i think that when i don´t like them i just toss them outside of my brain, therefore out of my memory! sigh... but i guess it´s a good thing? maybe it means i don´t hold on to the bad things lol.
    i do know that i HATED blair witch project. i was a lil teen when i saw it and i left the theatre not only scared but seriously dizzy from all the instability of that camera man! oh and i recently saw a really bad one that´s called "one day" with anne hathaway and some other actor. man what a waste of my time!

    loved these lists!
    XO jannine

  27. Meet Joe Black and Cabin in the Woods were both stinkers. I also thought Inception was way overrated. This is a great list!


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