Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Oh, the Guilt!

I have a confession...
You all know about my long and loyal relationship with Glamour magazine.
I go to Glamour when I'm sad, happy, or just bored.
Glamour's always there to give me the best advice and serve as a great distraction.
Here come's the confession...
I cheated on Glamour with Cosmopolitan magazine!!

It wasn't on purpose!!!
I was bored and already read all the Glamours that were out!!
I'm not a cheater, I swear!

Ok, so I know this is very silly, but I feel guilty for cheating on my magazine.


Tell me that's not a REAL guilty kitty?!

I always feel guilty when...

1.  Cookie
...I eat the last gingerbread cookie...
I know I should save at least one, but they're so yummy!

2.  Ignore
...I really don't want to speak to you so I pretend like you aren't there...
Hey, if I walk quick enough it's like I didn't even see you and that's totally not rude, right?!

3.  Late
...I tell people not to be late when I'm the latest person I know...
Ok, so I feel bad when I'm late too.  I'm working on that!

4.  The Love Bug
...People see me driving in The Love Bug...
Why does that make me feel guilty?  It's simple.  I have TheLoveBug and they don't!

5.  Cleaning
...I secretly clean your toilet bowl before I tinkle...
It's not that I think you're dirty, it's just that, I skeeve!  It's everyone.  Don't take it personal!

6.  Pasta
...I can't eat your pasta because it's not al dente...
I'm sorry, but Madre would slap me if I ate mushy pasta!!

7.  Isketch
...I accidentally reported you on Isketch and got you banned from the game for life...
I didn't mean to hit report, I swear!!

8.  Wiener Pooches
...My two little wiener pooches try to bite off your limbs...
Ok, so they're a little over protective!  But they are adorable!!

9.  Loud
...All you hear in a restaurant is my family's obnoxious conversation...
I know, we're unreasonably loud.  Sigh...

10.  Tap
...I tap uncontrollably at work...
All my coworkers hear is taps and then a bunch of loud giggles.  What they must think of me!

What silly things make you feel the guilt?

40 comments:

  1. Ha! Hmmm....now, its when I drink more than one glass of wine a night. Can't let my readers down!

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  2. its ok dear sometimes its good to read some other magazine you know just for a change :)
    i feel guilty too everytime i prepared and eat cookies hahahahaha specially with chocolates!!!
    i have no idea you love al dente!!!! its good to know... i cook only pasta al dente :)
    xoxo, Haus of Gala

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  3. Such a cheater, Glamour will be so upset with you..haha...that cat looks like he either did something wrong and is hiding it or he really has to go...haha

    LMAO I do the ignore thing too, can't say I feel guilty about it though, especially when it's someone I wish to avoid, I walk really fast, they don't have a chance..haha

    Sadly I'm also guilty of the toilet one, if I have to sit haha, I get it, as lots use public bathrooms and then come home and use theirs too, nasty. I only ever use mine and that is it, at least 99% of the time..haha

    The lovebug was a good one..hahaha..those lashes should make all feel guilty, I witnessed the Isketch one, you brought the Isketch gods down and banned the poor guy, how mean! When you've been bit and scratched as much as I have(by animals, mind out of gutter..haha) 8 doesn't sound so bad.

    I annoy people with the tapping at work, or I flick the button on the end of my pen making it go in and out and they start yelling at me..hahahaha....the only thing I really feel guilty about is the whole shaking hands thing, I do it but then they can usually tell I get a weird look and keep my hand from touching anything. As soon as they turn their back I wash away their germs..hahaha

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  4. @Pretty Meggy...I can't eat it any other way! You make yours al dente too? Perfect! I want to manga like a gavon now ;) hahaha

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  5. @Pat...Don't you see the tail in the kitty's mouth? The sneaky cat has a mouse in his trap! hahaha

    LOL!!! If we walk really fast, it's not rude, right? We just don't have time (or desire) to talk to them. We're very busy people...hahahaha Omg, so mean. I have to work on this one!

    Well, you're a guy. You don't always have to sit. The only good thing that comes from my toilet OCD is great quads from squatting and hovering. Oh wait, that's TMI for my page...lol!!!

    You did witness the Isketch one. I still feel guity about that! Poor guy was like "what did I do?!"! hahaha The TabNazi keeps making me fun of me about it at work!

    and I bet that you will have plenty of scratches tomorrow morning. You'll be having a long night with flap, er um, I mean your cats...LMAO

    Hmm, so shaking hands is what makes you feel bad? Why don't you just do the elbow tap? That seems to be more popular nowadays. LOL!

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  6. Ohhhhh I thought that was his tongue there for a second...LMAO...don't mind me I was just getting up..hahaha

    hahaha welll I suppose it's less mean then talking to them and letting something slip that would be less than flattering..hahaha...either busy or off in our own little world that we didn't see them. Yep that's my story and I'll stick to it..haha

    LOL that hovering takes talent though, the few times I've had to do it I almost lost my balance...hahaha..almost

    hahaha well maybe they didn't block his ip or the poor guy has another computer, so you may not have scarred him for life. I bet he stares at your username all day cursing the girl that made his dreams of being an Isketch sensation come to a horrible end...LMAO

    hahahaha shhh you aren't supposed to tell about Flap err umm the cats, those older ones don't like it getting spread around.

    I just feel guilty that I treat them like they are a leper..lol...the elbow tap, that is the best idea I've heard all day..haha

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  7. Great guilty pleasures. Lol

    I feel guilty when I eat the last piece of pizza and leave the box in the fridge. I don't want ants to get all over the place and I'm too lazy to being it outside. Lol that's what the kids are for anyway.

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  8. @Pat....You of all people should know what a guilty cat looks like! I'm dissappointed! lol

    Omg, you really think that he's cursing me?! I can't take any more bad engergy being sent this way!! I already have so many things to feel guilty about!!!!!!!!!

    Ok, I'll keep the old cats story in my vault. No one ever gets in there!

    What is a leper and what are the symptons?!?!?

    And yes to the elbow tap. LMAO Just film it when you go to elbow tap a big executive or one of your older cats ;) hahaha

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  9. well i must be a magazing whore. haha i cheat on all of them. LOL too funny! i always feel bad when i take the last of anything. Good stuff Jax!
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

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  10. Oh, so many things to feel guilty for! What a good list. :)

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  11. So it's you! You're the one who always eats the last cookie, I should have known. I feel guilty when I pull the skin off the fried chicken before the Hubby and The Spawn even make to the kitchen.

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  12. 2. I think it's more rude to fake nice, than to politely ignore. It's more honest to politely ignore.

    10. Mine is an uncontrollable leg shake, that actually shakes the people in the cubicles around me. They actually yell out, "Melanie, cut it out!"

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  13. @Spork...I knew I could count on you to make me feel better about a few of these!! Oh, the leg shake. That could mean so many things. It shakes when it's tinkle time, it shakes when I'm nervous, or it just shakes when I'm itching to move around. hahaha

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  14. I feel guilty on Sundays watching the Lifetime channel, especially when there is a "Snapped" marathon on. God, that is some good shit!!!! Right now I feel cleansed because I gave up TV for lent, but you can bet your bottom dollar that on Easter Sunday my lazy ass will be on the couch watchin' me some Lifetime!!!!

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  15. ROFL! You are soooo AWESOME. I love your honesty :)

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  16. Is THAT why I keep having problems getting on iSketch?!?!

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  17. you are such a goofball!! haha, i love it. I know what you mean about ignoring- I certainly don't want to ignore people but sometimes (aka all the time - you got a kindred spirit in me there) when I'm late or rushed, I just don't want to make small talk with smoeone because I mildly know them. I'm sure I'm doing them a favor too bc I bet they're like "oh, there's that girl I barely know... hide me!"

    I feel guilty when I verbalize anything that could come true or creates a bad omen- to remedy, I knock on wood all the livelong day, no joke.

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  18. and the "sometimes (aka all the time)" is in reference to me being late... not to ignoring people! Just FYI. ha.

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  19. haha i LOVED this post!
    i also struggle with the late bug! i hate people being late, but i might as well do it sometimes. it sucks!

    i also feel bad for people i see walking while i´m on my car. i took SO MANY buses and trains in my life that i always feel like picking up strangers and giving them a ride! (specially if its a woman carrying a baby. i mean, wouldn´t you?) but i can´t! the world is just so crazy these days that it´d be unsafe to do that.

    i´m very restless... i feel guilty when i wake up my boyfriend on our day off! if it were up to him he´d sleep in all day and i´m like Hell to the No! we gotta go out, do stuff, do blog photos, go shopping, lol. the poor guy takes it in and doesn´t say a word.!

    big hug! :) oh and don´t feel guilty about the cookies. why? because i say so! lol

    Jannine
    http://FashionistArg.blogspot.com

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  20. I feel guilty when I try something on at a clothing store, then walk out without buying anything.

    I don't know if it is guilt for not buying anything or fear of them thinking I am shoplifting.

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  21. I never had guilt over magazines. My favorite magazines or should I say the only ones I used to read were video game ones. My favorite was Eletronic Gaming Montly which was in their prime around the time I started reading in 2000, but by 2006 they were kinda meh.

    Magazines just don't appeal to me anymore like they used to. Blame the internet. I remember EGM being the only reliable source of information for my hobby, and I would literally read every word cover to cover, and be sad when I was done because I knew 30 more days would pass before I would get another. Then I got a PC and internet, and then stuff went downhill

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  22. hahaha well mine have never eaten a mouse, but I sure know what a guilty cat looks like. One christmas Cassie helped knock the tree over, no one saw it but you could just tell by the way she was looking she did it hahaha it was too funny.

    LOL no I doubt he is cursing you, he's too busy out there with his voodoo doll poking little pricks into it, wait maybe he is cursing you...hahaha

    Good, lock it away and throw the combination near bush number three..haha

    Let's not even go there. I don't want to get you thinking about that. But if you really must skip google and track down Mr. Monk and The Leper, it explains all..haha

    LOL well with that runner crap tomorrow there will be plenty of those around. Touching the germy mic as they give it back to me and trying to shake my hand. Oh I'm cringing just thinking about it..haha

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  23. I feel guilty being a huge Peyton Manning fan and watching your boy Tebow cry like a sissy.

    Not really, I don't feel that guilty. Just a little bit bad for for poking you so hard. :)

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  24. @Alicia...Dammit, you found out my secret!

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  25. @Youngman...I'm just impressed that you try on! Most men just grab and go. Then complain their clothes don't fit right...hahahaha

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  26. @Pat...Oh that Christmas tree story is GREAT! Poor, poor Cassie. She didn't mean to!

    Voodoo doll?!?!?!?!?! Stop it! Too late, I already asked a coworker what Leprasy was. My skin already feels itchy. Numb limbs are a sign!! Remember when my toe went numb?! Breatheeeinggg haha

    HAHAHAHAHA I hope that everyone tries to shake your hand and you just give them your elbow. Oh that would be funny!!!

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  27. @Barfly...You're so naughty!!! My poor little Tebow, he got booted my a mean old Manning. It makes no sense what they did. Why would they replace an option QB with Manning? Why?! I should go coach those Broncos. I'll teach em all to be like my boys ;) Just call me Miss Bellichec!! And you SHOULD feel guilty for throwing that in my face. Sigh...

    :(

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  28. My first car was a bug too. I have seen that same jealous look in the eyes of other drives. You understand.

    You are the queen of the lists. Love your stuff.

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  29. hahaha she was being chased by a dog to her credit though..I'll never forget the "who me" look on her face..haha

    Sigh, I should have kept my mouth shut, but that is hard to do..haha...itchy and numb, next you'll get an enlarged thumb

    LMAO I'm going to give them my elbow and say it's the way it works in NY.

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  30. There's not many things that I feel guilty about. Does that make me a narcissist? 0_0

    Oh okay! I have one. I feel guilty when you see me and think I'm being all serious when I'm actually quite the goofball. Yup yup!

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  31. Oooooh shame on...Glamour is the bible ya know?

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  32. When I don't signal when changing lanes.

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  33. I feel guilty if I don't read a magazine cover to cover. Like there is some law against me skipping around and only reading the parts that genuinely interest me.

    *Erin

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  34. I feel guilty generally when I'm eating chocolate... but I can relate to the magazine issue.

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  35. When I don't do something well enough and feeling that I could have done better.

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  36. haha...what a cute list

    I love your little bug!

    the tapping...that is so funny. At least your coworkers seem amused.

    I don't clean the toilet at someone's house but I have been known to layer the seat in tp before sitting. lol.

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  37. When I'm having a conversation with a woman and I've got one eye trained on her face and another eye focused somewhere else!

    (And what a great guest you must be...I would love to have someone else clean my toilet!)

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  38. I feel guilty when I can't think of a good comment.

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