Wednesday, January 25, 2012

B/c not everyone has common sense...

Happy Hump Day Everyone!!  Yes, it's Wednesday.  Isn't that grand?  I wanted to go off on a little bit of a rant today.  Stop it, I'm allowed to do that!  As you all know, I work for a Japanese company.  While I'm the minority here, I love working for these people!  It really is a great company.  That being said, there are a few seeds here that seriously rub me the wrong way.  Cultural differences aside, there are certain things that you just don't do at work or anywhere else for that matter!  I know, who am I to talk?  I got my entire office up in arms over the existence of a rare, miniature Philippine monkey last week.  But hey, the managers enjoyed it!

A Jax Work Etiquette Rant:

1.  Eyelash.  I get that it's really painful to have something rubbing against your eyeball.  But for the love of God, did you REALLY just ask me to blow into your eye for you while you hold your eye lids open???  It's work.  Go into the bathroom and take care of yourself.  For those of you who are curious, I did blow into her eyeball.  I'm too nice to say no.  Awkward...


2.  Rain.  It's 100% inappropriate to turn your garbage pail liner into a poncho.  I swear on anything I love this really happened.  3 years ago a co-worker put two holes into a garbage pail liner and walked outside looking like she was wearing a Halloween ghost costume.  Are people serious?!?!?!

3.  Language.  It's a horrible idea to curse at your desk.  It's an even worse idea to scream F bombs over applying incorrect payment amounts.  Yes, RussianHatMan, I'm looking at you!!!!!!

4.  Lotion.  It's bad when people put on over powering perfumes or lotions in an office environment.  It's even worse when you sit across from someone who insists on wearing GRASS scented hand cream that stinks to high heavens.  Forget the person wearing it, how about the person who made it!?


5.  Lah.  It's very unprofessional to sing "LAHHH" in a high pitched, show tune like voice every time you fix an error.  Although it does make me crack up every time that HE does this.  Yes, it's a he.


6.  Spiders.  No coworker wants to be subjected to you googling pictures of spiders just because you want to know if they've seen that species before.  Yes, RussianHatMan, I'm looking at you again!


7.  Ringtone.  To start off, you shouldn't have your cell phone ringer on blast while you're at work.  As a follow up to that rule, you shouldn't be the manly man of the office with your ringtone set as Alanis Morsette.  Love her, but jus saying...


8.  Wig.  You should never remove your wig mid workday and place it on your desk for all to stare at.  I get that it might get itchy, but really, it's staring me down?!

9.  Threats.  There is zero room for any kind of threat in a professional environment.  Please refrain from making these on the clock.  That includes you, ScaryLady that threatens to kill her mother if she doesn't sign legal documents loud enough for the entire office building to hear!!


10.  This ones for me.  As I mentioned above, the majority of the people here are Japanese and speak very little English.  3 years ago when I was offered this position, I finished my first A/R Index.  Proud of my accomplishment, I walked into the CEO's office and asked him where he would like it.  He responded, but what it was that he said, I had ZERO clue.  After a few "excuse me"s and a couple "what was that"s, I told him I would be more than happy to oblige and asked him to e-mail me the details of the assignment.  It's easier to correspond with them through e-mail, even if they are only 3 feet away.  It was my last resort considering I still didn't know what he was asking!  I walked back to my desk and sat down.  That's when I read the e-mail from the CEO.  It said "Please leave the papers on my desk".  Sigh...


Any work rants you want to get out of your system?
Feel free to leave them below.  :)
-Jax

39 comments:

  1. I fail at number three, sorry! I don't drop f bombs or anything like that but the occasional donkey and crap come out. (in the more vulgar term) But when the ceo does it too, not much they will do..haha

    Thankfully there are no smurf lah lah's sung around me though and the wig..haha..never had that done either. What I hate the most is the postage machine, I want to smash that thing to bits.

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  2. ohhh that last one is embarrassing for you :(

    My work rant? Ummm... http://mayorgia.blogspot.com/2011/11/chronicles-of-useless-mcgee-ribbons.html

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  3. There is not enough room in this comment box for work rants.
    Ha. I kid.
    Kind of.

    http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

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  4. Oh god that last one, so painful. :p

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  5. This cracked me up 'cause my Friday blog is going to be work peeves. A few of mine are:

    No, you can't clip your nails at your desk!

    I'm with you on the perfume. Luckily, state buildings actually have a no strong scents rule.

    No sweats in the office. I don't care how "nice" they are. You're in an office.

    No matter how much you dislike a co-worker, you need to be respectful to them. Being rude to another person in the office, or belittling, is not okay.

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  6. @Pat...I drop some words sometimes too, but I don't do it too loudly, or while wearing a Russian Hunting Hat.

    and a smurf is GREAT way to describe him, but it's not a lah lah...it's a LAHHHHH!!! with spirit fingers up the air and all. Think of it as a "I got it right" type of lahhhh. And it's always the same note. He is quite the character...

    The wig? That's no where near as bad as her wearing the garbage pail liner as a poncho. The people the Japanese hire.

    Look at you making me rant all over again!

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  7. @Sporkgasm...You are so right about the being rude thing. Save the tude for the person/thing that annoyed you. If you're pissy, ignore me til your better. Just sayin.... :P and belittling is never ok. Who do people think they are?!

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  8. I cannot believe you had to blow into someone's eye!! That is so weird. And the wig thing is insane. Now I kind of want to do that at my job just to freak people out. First I'll have to get a wig...

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  9. I can't stand the LOUD perfumes and FUNKY lunches. Omg'd!!! My nose always wants to pack up and quit! LOL That wig one was too funny!

    http://averysweetblog.com/

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  10. I totally feel for you love... I think I could write a book on my work rants! ;)

    I have to agree with Kim, I despise overtly strong perfume, nothing makes my head spin and me gag quicker than cheap or strong perfume!

    As for Threats, I've had the unfortunate experience with a psycho boss who bullied everyone in the office...

    I hope you enjoyed your time in Greece when you were over way back when!
    x.o.x.o

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  11. Blow into someone's eye? No thank you.

    Co-workers who can't talk? I've got that on lockdown too. IT'S ANNOYING.

    Another co-worker annoyance is people who talk on their cell phones in the bathroom AND people who brush their teeth in the bathrooms. It's freakin nasty, and it needs to stop like WHOA.

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  12. the first job i did upon arrival in italy is in a call center.. imagine the chaos, with the manners, culture and language. at the end of the day i was exhausted and cant wait to go home not only because of the work, but also because of some co-workers made me crazy. i can understand your complain with the number 7.. i also hated it!!! xoxo, Haus of Gala

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  13. grass scented handcream? What's next toenail scented body wash?

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  14. Philippine monkey? You guys were talking about tarsiers or something, right? As a Filipino that's kind of my area of expertise. @_@

    Yeah though, a lot of Asian people are quirky like that. It can be charming in smaller doses, haha. Weird that one of them asked you to blow an eyelash out of their eye though...!

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  15. the wig thing is freaking hilarious! and so wrong!

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  16. @Adam... LOL!!!! Well, grass scent isn't as bad as toe nail scent, but it's still pretty bad. hahaha

    @JustJoe...You've heard of Tarsier's?? I want one. They are so freakin cute!!! Can you help with this?!?!?

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  17. Good grief! I love your last one. My boss is also a non-native English speaker, and sometimes it would be tremendously easier to email him!

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  18. You make me wanna work with a bunch of Japanese people! I love half the stuff you hate on your list!

    Taking the garbage bag to make a poncho! thats awesome!

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  19. LOL I can bring on a good rant. But be careful saying, the people the Japanese hire, as they hired you..haha

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  20. @Pat...Oh I fit fight in. I introduced them to rumpology...I called in late b/c I egged myself....I even tried to get them to smuggle a tiny monkey for me. They deff did hire me :P

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  21. I used to work in a grocery store for their Starbucks kiosk. I had a co-worker (a bag boy) ask me every shift if he could have my tips....uh, sure, I'll work 8-10 hours, smile and play nice with creepy, stalker old men just so that I can give you my tips. Go ahead, take them.

    Now that I'm working from home doing the daycare thing, I have this to say, every baby should come with a manual that clearly states, "One should never feed a child prunes and then directly place them in a new, bouncy play thing that was borrowed from the mother in law. Doing so may or may not cause spontaneous emission of the bowels, therefore, causing a blowout of the diaper that extends halfway up the child's back."

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  22. I have a co-worker that blows her nose constantly (at least it seems like it) and it gets worse at lunch time. I have a weak stomach and it's sooo disgusting to me. If it's that bad just go the bathroom! At first I thought it was just a cold but it's months of neverending blows - uggh!

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  23. I sooo agree with all of these especially #4! ;)

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  24. i remember someone clipping his nails at his desk, and that bothered me a lot! your exclamation points, like pat's rhymes, are contagious.

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  25. When my female boss would ask me to do stuff i'd reply "i like it when you order me around like that"

    Needless to say, I don't work there anymore.

    +1 follower :)

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  26. I'm guilty of number 3 :(
    Great post - following

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  27. I need a job like yours. Sounds like it would be really entertaining to work there. Can't wait to read your next post.

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  28. at least work is always interesting! i loveeee my job, so no complaints.

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  29. @Ed...LOL Never really notice I did that...I guess I do put a lot of exclamation points. That's ok tho, b/c when I get excited over something, I usually do raise my voice. hahaha

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  30. hey what is hump day anyways? i always see it on cigarette packs

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  31. hey what is hump day anyways? i always see it on cigarette packs

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  32. @Tracer...Hump Day is wednesday. Where do you see that on ciggs? Unless you smoke Camels, I have no idea why that would be there. lol

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  33. omg, haha- you put mine to shame! these are hysterical. I laughed out loud at what your CEO said to you, haha, did you head right back in and drop the papers off with a sheepish smile? ha

    And what is "LAHHHH" hahaha, this is so funny.

    My work rant is that I'm so tired and don't want to be there this week! Juicy, eh?

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  34. I feel your pain for the not being able to understand people. For me it's actually the other way around.

    Because I'm irish, when I was working in Canada sometimes they had a really hard time understanding me so I found myself telling them that I'd just write it down for them.

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  35. ...oops, curing my desk, both at home, as well as that wobbly structure I sit before at the day job, has become routine as of late ;)

    Funny stuff.

    El

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  36. Hirarious, I raff so haad I womit on shews

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  37. The perfume and lotion thing....that's tough. Especially on public transportation. Whoa.

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  38. This should be renamed "Jax's Work Survival Guide."

    I was speechless after reading your #2. Perhaps the company should go to the thrift store and have a lending library of umbrellas.

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