Wednesday, August 31, 2011

It's ok to ride solo, I promise!!

1.   You need the extra time for yourself.  Think about all the time you spend texting, calling, e-mailing, hanging out, worrying about, cleaning up after, crying over, and all the other silly things that come with a relationship.  Every little thing you do that revolves around your man takes up precious minutes from your life that you can never get back.  Besides, wouldn’t you rather spend your evening with a nice glass of white wine and a hot date with Glamour magazine?  I know I would.

2.  You don’t need to share your pint of Ben & Jerrys.  You also do not need to share the food on your plate with the bottomless pit that you are dating.  You also do not need to be force fed like a little baby. (Who came up with the bright idea that spoon feeding a girl is cute anyway?  Would that person like to change my diapers also?) We might be ladies, but that doesn’t mean that we want to share our pint of Double Fudge Brownie.  Mmmm.  I know I’m little, but watch me down 3 pints of that stuff throughout the course of an entire movie like it’s nothing.

3.  You only need to clean up once.  The single woman does her cleaning and then tip toes around her home until she's ready to do it all over again.  You might not be as big of a clean freak as I am (I bleach my fridge every Sunday.  Just sayin...), but I know that if company is coming over I scrub twice as hard.  So every time my man comes over I feel obligated to make sure that my home is spotless.  Then after a night of doing God knows what, my apartment is RANSACKED and I have to clean up all over again.  Horrible.  That's too many cleaning sessions.  Single LMF with her glass of wine and glamour magazine never makes a mess...ever.

4.  You can go anywhere you want without 21 questions.  We have all had that jealous, insecure boyfriend that needed to know exactly where we were EVERY second of EVERY day.  That's when we should ditch the boyfriend and find a man-friend.  Instead of doing the smart thing, we answer the idiotic questions giving them the ok to continue with the nonsense.  Even if your man ins't insecure, you still need to worry about being a respectable girl friend (barf) and that you aren't doing something naughty.  Just think about it, it's simple math.  Single = Going Anywhere + With Anyone - Stress <--- I'll have some of that please!

5.  You can focus on you.  Being single allows for a woman to find out who she is and who she wants to be.  Go to college, put extra hours in at work, do that thing you always wanted to do, travel to that place you always wanted to go, and, for the love of God, explore your sexuality.  (Throw an Adult Toy party.  They are fun and educational.  Trust me).  Figure out what you like and what you don't like in EVERY aspect of life.  Be the best you that you can be.  All this cliche nonsense can only happen during "you" time and "you" time is single time.  Go get it ladiesss!!

Let me know what you think.  Leave comments on why you enjoy being single!
-LMF

Monday, August 29, 2011

A Swedish Toast

In the midst of all the hustle of this weekend, I’ve had zero time to actually sit down and think.  That’s a good thing.  I didn’t spend one second contemplating my break up with LLS.  Instead, I moved all my things from apartment #1 to apartment #2.  The move had to be done quickly because I was racing Hurricane Irene and a pick up time to babysit my 1 year old god son.  I should have my own show on HGTV: How to move, unpack, and decorate like a hurricane’s coming! It would be a hit!!  After class tonight (yes, today is my first day in my new college!!!), I will post some pictures to see what you guys think.

So last night during the 2nd commercial break from Real Housewives of New Jersey, I finally thought about the break up.  I realized that I can’t sit home and mope.  I need to go out and be myself!!  That got me thinking more…before my relationship with LLS really took off, I was seeing The Swede.  He is an ex-Olympic boxer from Sweden.  He moved to the US 2 years ago to be with his father after his daddy got diagnosed with cancer. L  While his father is in remission, the Swede and I would go out and have a great time.  He’s not exactly relationship material, but he’s deff a great piece of eye candy and a party in a body!!  He’s also VERY into me.  At least once every 2 weeks he would text me to see if I “was single yet”.  He’s about 24 years old, 6’4, dirty blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, rock solid body, and an accent similar to Arnold Swartzenager.  Swooning already.  Sigh…

The problem:  Communication.  I can’t understand a single word the man says.  What I do understand, gets lost in translation…

Here comes the flashback:  When him and I were “together”, we went to the Melting Pot (a really nice fondue restaurant with the best wine..mmm Dark Chocolate fondue and carbonated white wine.  Delicious!) We went with a bunch of my best friends.  There must have been about 10 of us total.  After sitting down for only 10 minutes, the Swede went to grab my thigh with his gigantic, manly hands.  The poor guy reached over too far and grabbed my male friend’s thigh instead.  It looked like my male friend had a spring in his seat that shot him 10 feet in the air!  While that should’ve made the fact that he grabbed the wrong leg obvious enough, the Swede turned around and said to me “You have a very big thigh”…really??  Biff and I were PEEING!!  A few more minutes passed when I heard “cling, cling cling” amongst all our chatter.  It was the Swede tapping his wine glass with a fork.  After getting everyone’s attention, and I mean EVERYONE including other tables surrounding us, he stood up with his glass in the air and proclaimed “I would like to make a toast.  It was very nice to meet all of you” and then sat back down like nothing happened.  Biff turned around, looked at me and said “Did he just make a toast?”  I said yes, I think so.  The Swede then looked embarrassed and said to me, “Isn’t that what you do in America?”  I wanted to slide under the table and hide there for the rest of the night.  He got half the restaurant hyped up for no reason and left them all with the wtf face.  A few minutes later, I sneezed quietly.  Everyone said bless you but the Swede got all startled and said “Are you seek?  You need some mageek keeses from me!  Kees kees!!!” Translation:  Are you sick?  You need some magic kisses from me.  Kiss kiss. At that note, we all got up and left cracking up…and no worries, he was laughing with us.

Bottom line, we had great chemistry.  When he went to Pacha in NYC, we had to stop at every staircase landing for a hot and heavy make out session.  We had a lot of fun.  He was great to play with while looking for a real relationship.  So what do you think?  Should I start to hang out with him again, or should I sit around and wait for Mr. Right?  I’ll end this post with what the Swede said to me the day I broke up with him at Starbucks “Well, I thought we were good together.  Last night I had a dream that you and I were married and you made me spaghetti for breakfast.” …oh boy…

-LMF

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Run-A-Way Tenant

The new kitchen.  Look how pretty.  Actual cabinet space, modern appliances, and beautiful tile floors!

Since the rein of LLS and LMF have come to a halt, I have been left with no choice but to pack my stuff up and move out.  I'm downsizing.  The new apartment is much smaller than the one I currently reside, but it's a much nicer apartment.  It is meticulously maintained and it's spotless.  The new apartment is also significantly cheaper.


The new bathroom.  I have an actual vanity and it's all brand new!  It's gorgeous, right down to the light fixtures.

This is the start of a new life and a new adventure.  New apartment, new town, new old job (I worked at my current job once before), new college, newly single, and a whole new out look on life.  The only thing stopping me now is Hurricane Irene.  The weekend that I am supposed to move happens to be the first time in DECADES that a hurricane hits Long Island.  That would happen to me...but after living through the hurricane LLS, I am prepared for anything.  Bring. It. On.

The entrance into my new apartment.  There is actual landscaping and it's maintained.

My big girl panties are pulled all the way up and I'm ready to live my life.  <3

I happy :)  Welcome home!

-LMF



Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Allow Me to Introduce Myself

07-18-11

You can call me Little Ms Fun, or LMF for short.  I am a 22 year old Italian-American girl that lives on her own in a Long Island, NY apartment.  I have a HUGE family.  Ever see my Big Fat Greek Wedding?  Well, that’s my family, minus the Greek-ness.  We are 100% Sicilian which makes us that typical loud, annoying, needs to be in everyone’s business type of family.  I have a boyfriend.  He’s actually my land lord’s son and he lives right upstairs.  Awkward? Yes!  Convenient? Of course! I am not sure how long we officially have been together.  It’s somewhere between 5 and 7 months.  I have severe commitment phobia which led us to a “together, but not” relationship.  What does that mean?  I have no idea, but that was our status.  After a significant amount of time, I allowed him to call me his g/f and to make it “Facebook official”.  Next step is the “L” word and I feel it coming…Help!!!! I work full time for a Japanese company in the accounting department.  I am in charge of all the accounts receivables and the credit and collections.  I am also a full time student majoring in accounting.  My favorite thing to do is to travel.  I have a trip planned for Paris & London at the end of December.  My wish is to see the world.  I also have severe scoliosis.  Fortunately, in January 2010, I went through a successful and very painful spinal corrective surgery.  It involved putting two rods in my spine and fusing almost my entire back.  It’s not as bad as it sounds, and no, I’m not ugly.  I am a little short (5’0).  Trying to sum up who I am and how CRAZY my life is, is impossible to do in an introduction paragraph.  I promise to be 100% honest with you and spill all the juicy details.  Follow along and hopefully you can relate to the freak show of a life I live.

-LMF

Raviolis & Waterworks
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