Thursday, November 3, 2011

Get LOW, LOw, Low, low

Since you are all dyeing to know (I hope not literally) how I am making out with my goal, I'll give you a little update.  I was late both Wednesday and Thursday.  Sorry guys...There are just too many distractions in the morning!  Wednesday my ex put up a video of himself rapping.  How do I not watch him make an idiot out of himself?  Sigh...  It's a work in progress...

The CW has been on fire lately!  I don't know where they find these men but they make watching any dumb show worth while.  Yum!  That beat down that Damon gave Stefan had me cheering out loud!  The chemistry between Damon and Elena had my heart racing.  Getting too hot to handle!   I am not a huge fan of the new story line on Vampire Diaries.  The whole hybrid species thing is throwing me off.  I'll continue to be a loyal fan because of the lovely Ian Somerhalder, Klaus's sexy accent, and the fact that I'm a Leo.  (Leos are loyal people.  Roar!) 
Bow chica bow wowwww <3
While the VD story line is flopping, The Secret Circle's story line keeps getting juicier!!  I am obsessed with this show.  (...and no, not just because of Jake.)  This show is packed with action, drama, and suspense.  I like!!
Ok, so maybe Jake does have a little to do with it...Chris Zylka everyone!!  You're welcome.
One of my friends and I were talking about girls.  (He came to the right place.  I know a lot about them! lol)  Every weekend he goes out and he parties.  He usually hits up the low key bar scene where he has zero problem picking up girls.  Last weekend he ventured out into the world of clubs.  He tried several times to get a girl to dance with him but kept getting shot down.  I wasn't there, so I can't judge based on his specific situation, but I can give you a run down of what turns a girl off when it comes to getting their groove on.  Ok, let's boogie...sorry, couldn't resist!


1.  The Stare Down:  This type of  guy is a typical creeper.  He's the one that lurks amongst the "wall flies" with the same drink in his hand all night.  He just stands there and stares at you.  No matter where you go or what you do he does not avert his eyes.  For the love of God, blink or something!!  I feel as if you are burning a hole into my soul.  Casual eye contact to spark interest is a good thing.  A serious stare down is a horrible idea.  I mean, think about it.  After making a girl feel like you've been trying to manipulate her mind with brain control do you really think she wants to dance with you?

2.  The Sneaky Sneaky:  This is the guy that comes out of no where.  You are dancing with your girls and all of a sudden there is a hand holding onto your hips and a crotch rubbing against your behind.  For all we know it could be a yeti trying to get down and dirty back there!  Before you try and grind up on a woman, ask her if she would like to dance.  If you are too shy to ask someone flat out, at least give your target the satisfaction of seeing you to confirm that you are in fact human.

3.  The Humpty Dumpty:  This is the guy who's idea of dancing is bumping their beer belly into your shoulder blades.  (For the men out there with a confused look on their face let me clarify this for you.  That is not a turn on.)  Sis got a Humpty Dumpty once.  We were at a local club when this guy that looked like a pregnant Lurch asked her to dance.  He seemed harmless enough so she agreed.  You should've seen her!  Her body was just going flop, flop, flop with each bump his belly was laying into her.  If dancing with a girl means them having to suffer whiplash, I suggest trying a different dance move before she runs away for the rest of the night.


4.  The Touchy Touchy:  This is the guy that thinks that an agreement to dance is an ok to grab and feel whatever goods they please.  (Saying ok to a dance is not saying "Grope me now!"  Once again, just clarifying...)  Us girls are prepared for these perverts.  We have a secret signal all set up to give our girls so they know to get us the hell out of there.  If you are a real persistent creeper, you may get a really hard backwards kick in the junk.  (I don't promote violence, but what's fair is fair!)  Dance with your partner, don't molest her.


5.  The Sing-A-Long:  This is the guy that insists on belting out whatever song the DJ is currently playing right into your ear drum.  Headache much?  Jeez...  This happened to me two weeks ago.  I felt bad because he was a nice guy, but the sound woofers were already delivering all sorts of frequencies through my brain.  My head was already vibrating and I didn't need this guy to add to it.  The worst is the guy that doesn't know the words but still insists on screaming in your ear.  How do you dance while listening to some sort of alien language with a french accent on crack?  Dance with the girl.  Don't serenade her.  (Unless of course you really know how to sing, then serenade away.  It has romantic potential!)


6.  The Statue:  This is the guy that asks a girl to dance but just stands there.  He doesn't move.  He doesn't even tap a finger.  (I better watch what I'm saying before I start up a planking-like phenomenon.  LOL)  No one wants to dance with an inanimate object.  I mean, I dance with my Snuggie in the mirror sometimes, but even he sways to the beat as I swing his sleeves.  If you are uncomfortable busting a move or afraid of making an idiot out of yourself, at least bob your head up and down!  If you ask a girl to dance, then for the love of God, DANCE!! 

7.  The Beat Down:  This is guy that is obnoxiously drunk.  Instead of dancing, he accidentally kicks the crap out of you.  Unintentional or not, a beat down is never attractive.  (Stomping on my feet, twirling me to puking point, and elbowing me in skull is still a type of beat down!)  This happened to one of my girl friends.  She was out dancing with her obliterated boy friend.  He went to twirl her a little but ended up tossing her across the room.  She tripped on her heels and ended up slamming her head into the wall.  A trip to the ER for her concussion is how she ended her night.  Avoid drunk dancing at all costs.  It's dangerous!


These are seven great reasons why a girl might not want to dance with a guy.

Why do you think that girl didn't want to dance?  

Hopefully this weekend does not involve any of these types of people.  I plan on doing a lot of studying and spending some quality time with my family.

Have a great weekend everyone!!

-LMF

15 comments:

  1. hahahaha but the drunk and the humpty dumpty sound like they would be so fun to dance with..hahahaha

    I am sooo glad I'm over the whole bar scene, my head bopping days already shook enough screws loose..haha

    ReplyDelete
  2. i don't like the cocky guy or the touchy types. just be real and don't act like you're hitting on me.
    and i hate the hybrid story too. boo.
    i think damon should have some rabid fever that makes him stay shirtless the entire season. and he should talk directly into the camera. and say my name while he's talking to the camera. it could totally happen!
    PS Have you entered my dessert giveaway yet?

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOL And I have unfortunately come across EACH and EVERY one of them! You described them PERFECTLY girl! I couldn't help but visualize them. They are scary indeed. Have an awesome weekend! I love visiting your blog. :D You have the best REAL stuff.
    http://sassyuptownchic.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ha, dancing questions--def out my league.

    For those who are people watchers, I think your description of "The Beat Down" guy is what makes for a the funniest of all dudes to watch fail.

    Enjoy your weekend, and I hope you have better luck with the on-time thing next week.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This was sooooo funny! Ha ha!

    Have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  6. LOL! I LOVE it whenever you make these lists. I swear they're golden.

    P. S. I still need to watch "Vampire Diaries." It sounds sooo awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  7. These are hilarious! Not a lot of dancing here in California, everyone is too cool, but I miss the days of NYC clubbing and running into all these types, haha.

    xo Mary Jo
    http://ON-PCH.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks for stopping at my blog and commenting. You have a fresh, young blog and I like it that you are devoted to your family.
    As to the dance question..... Right up my alley. I refuse to dance socially unless it is at a studio dance party where everyone is working on becoming a better dancer. I've danced, performed and competed in dance all my life and I can't waste my feet and hips on a boring, no-good dancer. I still teach in my studio and I get my dance passion filled with that. I'd rather dance by myself, anyway. I started tapping again and that is a fun way to retrieve energy.
    Manzanita@Wannabuyaduck

    ReplyDelete
  9. LOOL! Your description of the sing-a-long guy had me in stiches. My cat must have thought I was mad! He just sat there watching me, wondering why I was sitting at my computer laughing so loud by myself. You really cheered me up, again! A good belly laugh was exactly what the doctor ordered. You're fantastic.

    Have a great weekend, and happy studying!:-)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh girl you crack me up. Having had to deal with the beat down, sing along and stare down before I'm glad I'm done with the bar scene. If I ever got the humpty dumpty I would have to smack someone. :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. thank you so much!!! i'm now following you back :)
    take care and hope to hear more from you!!! kisses from Italy. xoxo, Haus of Gala

    ReplyDelete
  12. HAHA - I think I've experienced all of these except for the Humpty Dumpty (thank god). I think it's just super key for a guy to just ASK!

    ReplyDelete
  13. hahahhah! this is utterly hysterical. i have been a combination of a few of these guys, at times:)

    ReplyDelete

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