Friday, October 7, 2011

TGIF Rant!

Did everyone watch Vampire Diaries last night?  Well, that’s great for you  I missed it!  I couldn’t skip another class so I was forced to TAPE (Gasp!) the one show that leaves me on a high for a day and a half.  Well, to make up for my disappointing Thursday evening, here is an extra sexy picture of my favorite character, Damon Salvatore played by the lovely Ian Somerhalder.  (ok, I’m not allowed to drool at my desk anymore so I’m going to avert my eyes and keep on writing…) I did manage to make it home in time for Secret Circle and Always Sunny in Philadelphia, but that was little comfort. 


Other then Britney Spears attacking me in my sleep, I had a rather uneventful night.  (Yes, Britney Spears ATTACKED me in my sleep.  She acutally scared the crap out of me.) My apartment is very pretty and full of tasteful things.  My ONE guilty pleasure is a poster of my favorite entertainer, Britney Spears.  The genius inside my head told me to hang that poster on the ceiling above my bed with scotch tape.  Turns out gravity doesn’t like the genius in my head and made Britney fall on top of me at 4 in the morning.  Other then the ear piercing yell, the fish out of water flopping I was doing on my bed, and the rip in that beautiful piece of art work, both Britney and I came out unharmed.  (The genius in my head told me to hang it up again in the same spot using the same materials.  I think I am going to bring home a few push pins from work…)

Since I am in a rather pissy mood today for no reason at all (maybe it is my lack of sleep from the vicious attack last night???), here is a list of things that really annoy me.  Enjoy.

1.  Slow People.  Maybe it is the New York in me, but I HATE when people are near me going snail speed.  Whether they are walking in front of me or if they are driving near me, I just want to grab and shake that person while yelling “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PICK UP THE PACE!!”.  The worst is when you are late for work and you get stuck behind the grandma actually doing the speed limit. I understand the whole take your time and enjoy life theory, but really?  I need to pee and you are crawling down the dam hallway.  Move it or lose it.  How about when you are on line at the store and the cashier scans the items like they are in The Matrix?  ANNOYING.  Most of the time I am rushing for no reason at all, but at the end of day I get a lot accomplished.  Does this make me at a high risk for a heart attack? Sigh…

2.  Brussel Sprouts.  Somewhere down the line in the history of the world, there was a man who gave brussel sprouts a bad name.  When this vegetable is in season, I cook it almost on a weekly basis.  It is one of my FAVORITE vegetables.  It irks me to no end when I put time and love into cooking these cute little vegetables, and then no one will eat it.  They will not try them because they THINK they are disgusting.  (Who ever started this ridiculous rumor gets a virtual slap from LMF!!  Just sayin…) Don’t say you do not like something until you try it.  So, it’s not really the brussel sprouts that annoy me, it’s the judgmental people that are engaging in the unfair bullying of a poor vegetable.

3.  Back Problems.  One of the biggest annoyances of all time to me is the people that blame their life’s problems on their perfectly healthy spinal chord.  They can’t go to work because they have back pain.  They can’t go to an important even because they have back pain.  They basically can not function in society because of their back pain.  Ok, don’t get me wrong here…there is such a thing as REAL back pain.  Trust me, I would know.  Most of my spine is fused together and I have two large rods screwed into my spinal chord.  (True Story:  I NEVER complain about my back pain even on the worst, achiest days.  I am thankful to be able to walk after such a risky surgery.)  I sympathize with the people that have serious back pain, but they should not blame their life’s problems on it.  (Pop some pain meds or go see a chiropractor.  That’s what I do!! Lol)

4.  Unnecessary Staples.  You know that packet of papers that you just need ONE sheet from?  It would be so easy to remove one teeny, tiny, little staple and get what you need, but NO, someone had to go staple happy.  I never understood why people need to staple something 10,000 times.  Do you like the sound?  Or do you like to watch as that poor person is sitting there with a staple remover desperately trying to break free the ONE piece of paper that they actually need.  (Shame on you psychopathic staplers.  You should be banned from using all office supplies.  Not kidding.)

5.  Bill Stein Wannabe.  It is super annoying when someone is ruining a real juicy, dramatic story by talking in monotone.   Hire an actor to tell the story if you can’t manage to project even the tiniest morsel of emotion.  People are sitting there focusing all their attention on you.  Entertain them and make their time worth it.  (Who doesn’t love a seat edge worthy story?? Those are my fav!) Think of all those boring work meetings that you were forced to sit through.  Now imagine them being told verbatim, except this time the person conducting the meeting is using their best gospel church preacher voice.  Halleluiah!! I bet more people would pay attention.  Why aren’t I in management again?  I have the best ideas!

6. Miscellaneous.  Earring gauges.  Fake drunk people.  Any phone calls between 1am and 7am.  People who pretend they are reading.  Pen clickers.  Gum poppers.  Phones that read you the text messages.  Candies that taste like cold medicine.

Phew, that’s a lot off my chest.  Now, tell me, what are your pet peeves??

-LMF

16 comments:

  1. Slow people I hate slow people! They are such a pain in the butt. They do really need to get the hell out of the way. People who come to your place and act like it's theirs, nose around and be a complete slob annoy me too. Drunk people altogether, druggies, know it alls, stuck up idiots, basically people in general..haha

    ReplyDelete
  2. i think your vision of the world is fabulous. people who pretend to read. i've done that, but still, not very often:) you are completely right. it was obvious. i learned the hard way.
    phone calls between 1 and 7. how about 11 and 9?:)
    the genius in my head also has weird ideas that don't work, like not washing the frying pan every use because it adds flavor. yeah, the wrong kind.
    have a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I watched Vampire Diaries last night! Don't enjoy the whole hybrid story line though.

    I used to get annoyed with back pain/neck pain people too until I pulled a muscle in my back while washing my dog. SO PAINFUL. But a week later I was fine.

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  4. LOL at this whole post! I hate slow people too- and not just drivers but walkers. COME ON! And, like you, I LOVE brussel sprouts! Mmmm roasted brussel sprouts
    http://www.saysskippy.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love brussel sprouts too, especially with roast turkey and roast potatoes.

    What gets my back up are those annoying automated messages you get when you call a company. You know, when you just want to talk to a real person because you've got a complaint? Instead you get some stupid voice asking you millions of questions before someone actually answers the phone. The bit I find most annoying is when you're asked to say your account number, date of birth etc. to the voice at the other end of the phone. Then you have to repeat the same answers when an actual person finally speaks to you. Whats the point?

    Anyway have a good weekend. I hope you sleep better tonight.

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  6. Where do I even begin? Slow drivers, liars, people that play dumb, people that insist on talking all the time - there can be no silences, commercials, telemarketers, kicking the back of my seat in the car, brussell sprouts, sardines, mayo...

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  7. And the worst thing ever HAS to be staple-happy slow people. LOL! Seriously, is there anything worse ;)

    P. S. Your blog looks AMAZING. And you are gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
  8. back pain is totally the worst & I commend you for not complaining about it!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Flying all the way just to see you and say hello...and wish you all the best for this new week. Great post! Visit me too. Good night, wonderful dreams…
    Greeting !!

    ReplyDelete
  10. HAHA! Love this post! Wait until you read my Monday blog post...you will LOL (it will be about pet peeves of other bloggers)! I like brussel sprouts also. So you're not alone. Thanks for your wonderful comments on my blog. I'm following you now and look forward to your future posts. :D
    http://sassyuptownchic.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  11. I lurrrrve Vampire Diaries! Damon Salvatorre is hawwwwt! Rawr. Ok I'm drooling now. Lol. And yes, slow slow people drive me nuts too. =)

    ReplyDelete
  12. i didn't like b.sprouts growing up but now i do!!
    and girl, i don't have enough space for my pet peeves.

    oh, and on VD Damon declared his love for me. Um, yep he did.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I hate slow walkers. Let's get a move on People on the Sidewalk

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love brussel sprouts too!!! They have such a bad reputation for no reason! They're so delicious, I would definitely eat them. And the back pain thing is funny, it basically just comes down to people who need an excuse for something... I agree, if you're going to complain at least tell me you're making changes to remedy it! My pet peeves are d-list celebrities who write books about their sexual abuse. It's NOT because I have ANYTHING against victims of sexual abuse it's just that I have something against people suddenly claiming it happened to them to get back in the limelight.

    ReplyDelete

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