Monday, September 26, 2011

Real Life: Cops & Robbers

Happy Monday to everyone!  Aren’t you all glad to be back to work?  I know I’m not.  There is some SERIOUS drama at my job right now.  Sigh…there is no area of my life that can be drama free lol (I secretly love this.  I would hate to be boring!)  My weekend was interesting as always.  I was very disappointed to discover that it is week 3 in Football land and the Buffalo Bills are leading my division with a 3-0 record.  Pathetic. The Patriots lost to the Bills yesterday was ALMOST as embarrassing as their lost to the Jets in the play offs last season.  (Fun Fact:  As much as I love my Pats, I despise the Jets.)  There was more disappointment on Sunday when I took my baby cousin food shopping.  She was playing with the shopping cart and almost ran over this beautiful man.  He gave me “the look” and said heyyy in a VERY seductive voice.  Before I could respond and snatch up the man I should be marrying, my baby cousin goes “Come on MOM!!” and giggles.  That 8 year old brat just took “the look” and changed into “a look”.  (Now I’m going to die alone in a house full of reptiles.  Fun Fact:  I hate cats.)  While my Sunday was full of disappointment, a lifetime supply of dirty laundry, and Italian Sunday gravy, it was also full of excitement.

Samzies:  Madre’s physical therapist has this son who is my age and recently broke up with his girl friend.  (They ended their 5 year relationship about 4 months ago.  Reboundd??? What do you think?)  He’s ok looking at best, but appears to be a lot of fun.  He seems to be a typical 23 year old guy.  He also works for a very popular radio station.  In an attempt to get LLS off my mind, Madre decided to “hook this up”.  She gives him my name and he looks me up on Facebook.  Anyways, we eventually spoke.  Our convo went like this:  S:  Hey, What’s happening?  L:  Nothing much, what about you?  S:  Samzies  Samzies?? SAMZIES???  What does that even mean?  Who says that?  Now imagine a 23 year old man saying that ridiculous, made up word to your face.  I don’t think I would be able to keep a straight face.  Long story short, he asked me for my number and said we should chill sometime.  I agreed and gave him my digits, but reluctantly.  Is saying “Samzies” a deal breaker?  Maybe I’m just over reacting here…but, really?  Samzies?  Sigh…

LLS#2:  I went home early last night from Sunday gravy to go home and cook some dinners for myself for during the week.  I was going hardcore making roasted garlic potatoes, brussel sprouts, spaghetti squash with fresh sauce & mushrooms when all of a sudden I hear CRASH BANG BOOM!!  I immediately froze.  (My land lords are in Florida until next Tuesday, so I know it wasn’t them.  They also would have told me if someone was stopping by because they are a very respectful, older couple.)  My first thought was: OMG We are getting robbed!!  My second thought:  OMG There is no lock on my door yet to stop people from entering from my land lord’s side of the house.  My third thought:  OMG My phone is about to die.  So I quickly grabbed a VERY large knife, hid between my bed and the wall, and plugged my phone in.  I called daddy; no answer.  I called Madre; no answer.  I called Brother; no answer.  I called nanny; ANSWER!!  HALLELEUIA!!  I told her what happened and explained to her all the banging and booming that I was STILL hearing above me.  She instructed me to call the police.  (Confession:  I also texted LLS.  I needed a man to be on his toes ready to fight for my life at any given second and I KNEW he would be there in half a second if I really needed him.  Sigh...as crazy as he is, he really does care.) So I called the po po and they told me to remain calm and that they would be right there.  Meanwhile, there was still quite a ruckus going on upstairs and I discovered w/ the cops on the phone that there was a suspicious vehicle outside with a crap load of tools in the trunk.  Moments later, (I was still hiding between my bed and the wall with a knife.  Trembling.  Pathetic! Lol) I see a big man with a flash light look into my window up close.  I screamed as loud and as high pitched as I could possibly yell.  I really thought it was the robbers looking in getting ready to murder the witness.  Turns out it was one of the four police officers that came to my rescue.  After they concluded that there was someone inside the house and the land lords confirmed that there should not be someone there, they surrounded the perimeter.  Results:  The land lords wife’s son broke up with his girl friend and didn’t have anywhere to go.  In a drunken mess, he broke into the home and was throwing things everywhere.  Way to scare the ever living day lights out of me.  At this point my phone is blowing up w/ LLS checking up on me, daddy flipping out, and nanny having a mental breakdown.  My aunt is also AT my apartment with me.  LLS#2 goes to my aunt in slurred speech, “I’ll be here for a few days.  Don’t call the cops on me again.  I’m a marine”.  My aunt goes “Well, don’t scare my niece again.  Oh, and I’m a nurse”.  Only me…no, seriously, only me..The psychic was right.  I have been cursed.  Only with psycho LLS syndrome instead. Ug…

-LMF

8 comments:

  1. Love Guru Formerly known as "BIFF"September 26, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    "Confession: I also texted LLS. I needed a man to be on his toes ready to fight for my life at any given second and I KNEW he would be there in half a second if I really needed him."

    In response to this confession....you can't call the for a man to be on his toes (AKA: LLS)....that would actually mean he HAS to be defined as a man which he clearly is not.

    ReplyDelete
  2. no fun football day yesterday for me either. i'm a bears fan. your team will be in the playoffs. mine won't.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Taking little ones shopping is always an adventure--he'll prob be hanging out there randomly hoping for another encounter.

    If our crew can survive a shopping visit without breaking anything it is a success.

    Not only you are a Pats fan, but a Jets hater? Wow, you are tough.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow sounds like you had quite the busy weekend for sure, with the scary drunk person at your door..haha

    ReplyDelete
  5. that must have been really scary right????
    love your writing style and blog:) btw thank you so much for commenting and following my blog:)
    -h-

    ReplyDelete

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